My 3 Xmas

Ufff, so much to write about before the end of the year… yet, so little time. 2 last days at work in 06, time to wrap everything up and clean my desk and drawers of all the rubbish to be ready for 07. And S is visiting, and N needs my time and love because her love has left the country, again.

I’m done celebrating Christmas with the 3 of my closest families. First there was the office Xmas – with the biggest of my families. As already a tradition, there were performances. The girls performed a Thriller inspired dance and the boys (the competitive little …:) had 2 performances – one James Bond inspired act and another one, which was inspired by god knows what….probably by “Strictly come dancing”. And we ate and we drank and we held speeches. And as much as I wanted to go on partying and move on to night club, I just couldn’t. I drank one espresso after another, but still I was so sleepy that I had to retire.
Then there was the family Christmas – mum, dad and the 3 kids. I got lots of excellent presents and we ate and we drank and….we ate some more:) And the next day we went to the country and we lit the candles on the cemetery, visited some relatives and ate some more. The weather was excellent and it was all really nice and I even managed to take some photos.

And then there was the other family Christmas, with S, A, N and PM. So you can only guess what we did. A safe bet is to guess that we ate and we drank and we exchanged presents. Some really nice presents. Strangely enough I got several pairs of knickers. I’m surprised how well Mr. Claus knows my size and taste in this field:)

(Let me know if you want to see more pics)

Gifted

I love making presents. One of the reasons might just be, coz they look lovely all in a row like this, nicely wrapped. So, my loved ones, can you guess, which one is yours;)?

NY party, vol 1

There you go, the ultimate Christmas week had a wild kick-off yesterday. Resulting in a tiny hangover today. I guess that’s expected after drinking champagne for 5 hours yesterday.

What was I up to, then. Now, this is a big secret, but I know my readers and you won’t tell anyone, will you:)? I was at the filming of a new year’s show of a certain Estonia’s TV channel. The 3-hour show will be broadcast as a live show on 31st of December. But hey, you don’t really expect a channel to take the risk and go live for 3 hours….on a bloody NY eve, do you now?

Well, imagine dressing up for a festive event and then pretending you’re in an elevated mood for hours, as if you’re at the best NY party ever. It was easy though, as I was actually having a good time. And no, it wasn’t just the sparkling drink responsible for it. We were sitting at tables, eating finger food, drinking champagne (as mentioned before) enjoying the performances and laughing and clapping on call. I know now I made a wise choice wearing gloves. As for the performers and the guests, you can say everyone was there. The business elite was doing the same as was I, that is the aforementioned – food, drinks and clapping. And the stars and starlets and TV people were doing the performing part. As the infamous “Strictly come dancing” glamour show has just finished, all of the dancing stars were there and in a way the channel made all the dancers sing and all the rest of the people, like politicians, singers etc, dance. Generally it was all just about watching the show but it was rather strange to do the countdown…9…8…7… etc to new year. Then again, now that I’ve done the whole fancy part, I can just relax, wear my sweat suit and watch myself on TV on 31st.

Afterwards we were all invited to an afterparty, by a certain well-known businessman, to a certain night club he owns and his certain young girlfriend was actually serving drinks to me and taking care that we had everything. But you know how it is on Monday evening, without the right crowd, it’s rather difficult to get the party started.

Mr Claus

Last Friday proved again that you basically only need the right crowd to have an effortlessly good party. Well, seemingly effortless, as there are always things that need to be organized. It was J’s late birthday/house-warming party and you can only imagine our surprise when at some point in the evening we got a visit from Santa Claus…Mr. Claus was a bit to the kinky side with his ambiguous jokes, or maybe he was just automatically picking up our crowd’s vibe. Anyhow, I was glad he was still just a Santa, giving us presents and telling his stories, and not a Santa/Stripper, who’d have ruined my whole perception of Santa:) So, the Santa was the organized part, but the rest of it was all rather spontaneous, like Kox giving a memorable performance of the song “I fire you all!”, or the otherwise always sober as a judge, but this time so cutely drunk M, proclaiming his love to all the friends; or all of us singing the re-independence time songs together…eh, the moments that make memories…at least til the next party comes along.

And well, today the ultimate Christmas week starts, with Christmas lunches, Christmas dinners, Christmas parties etc. By the end of the week I’ll have eaten so much that it’s only wise to start the week off with the tight fitting dresses and leave the more loose ones to the end of the week:) I’ll review the best of the events here as well. Keep reading!

A small dose of Swedes

The Swedes were back in town for the weekend. It’s been 3 months since they left. On Thursday evening almost the whole summer crowd was back together, greeting them and approximately an hour into them being back it felt as if everything was like it was supposed to be. And you just know that even if they were gone for longer they’d still fit right in. So the question really is, why did they move away in the first place.

On Friday evening there was the birthday party of the third Swede, Mr. Nui. How come it’s this way, that when you’re drunk, all kinds of things are “more possible” than when you’re sober. And not just in your head. No. For instance, when the time came to move on to night clubs and the ever-lasting problem of getting a taxi arose….we just took the bus. I mean, there was a night bus or sth like that and we took it. Mr. Nui paid the bus driver, the driver asked the other people to wait and there we were with our crowd of 10 people or so, in the huge bus, which only made 2 stops, as some of us wanted to go to one and some to another club.

And, as far as I’m concerned, I got through the weekend with no permanent damage. However, I still tend to end up in situations, where (in my most rational moments) I think I shouldn’t end up in. But since I still do, even with the universe (that jealous biatch) trying to stop me, I like to take comfort in the thought that it’s probably not entirely my fault. Maybe some things are just supposed to happen. That much I know about myself that that I’m not the kind of person to deny myself sth good in present for a possibly greater good in future.

MIKA

I have a new favourite. He’s called Mika, he’s a musician, he looks great and he’s got an amazing voice. The only thing is that he might be just a bit young for me and that he lives a bit far, in London right now.

Ok, wishful thinking:) But Mika really is my new musical favourite. I want to hear more of him and I want to see him perform. There’s a huge talent there and as much as I’d like to keep him only for myself, I believe in a year or so, he’ll be big all over Europe. Right now he’s hitting the radio stations with the song called “Relax”.

However, for a little taste of him, here’s another song “Grace Kelly”, performed live on “Later, with Jools Holland”.

Edit: The next single Grace Kelly will be out at the end of January and the album will be released beginning of February. I'll review it soon after i get it:)

Surprises in the night

Last night, when i was coming home from my night out, which, by the way, was a really good one after a long while now. I really felt like a socialite yesterday, going from one party to another. Even the infamous BB club, which has recently only managed to disapoint me, was top notch...

Ok, back to the getting home story. It was sth around 4.30 at night and i was on my way from the taxi to my place when i saw a young woman lying on the street in front of my house. Of course i went to check on her. She was well dressed, wore jewellery and was just lying there next to the house wall, sleeping. I tried to wake her up to find ut where she lives and help her home. Waking her was not the easiest task, as she was obviously really really drunk. At least i hope she was only drunk, in the light of recent stories of people being druged in the nightclubs. So i woke her and my next task was to find out the address. Not so easy either, as she was really not registering what i was saying, nor was she able to give me any intelligible answers. I offered her differnet languages in which we could speak. For some reason she chose English. Later we switched to Russian, because that was her mother tongue. As it turned out, she lived in the same house as i. I managed to get her on her feet. Again, not a very easy task, considering i was smaller than her and wearing heels. I walked her to her staircase, somehow found keys in her pocket, helped her in, found her flat, opened the door and helped her in. I hope she was able to take it from there and just get to sleep. At least she was in the safety of her own home. I really hope she’s doing ok and i hope nothing had happened to her in her drunkenness. I keep thinking maybe i should’ve done more, like help her to her bed or sth but that would’ve felt like invading her privacy too much.

Now, i know sth like that could never happen to me from drinking. I know my drunk self and how and what i can and cannot do. I always, always manage to get home, the very least ...or maybe i just don’t get so drunk. However, i know some people in my circles to whom this could easily happen and, if something as bad would happen that someone would drug me with a pill slipped into my drink or whatever, then i’d have no idea of how my body reacts and what i am or am not capable of doing. I just wish everyone had good friends to party with, so that there’d always be someone to take care of you, make sure you get home and maybe also give you an aspirin and a glass of water or if need be, take you to the doctor.

To sleep, perchance to dream...

Sleep-sleep-sleep….dreams-dreams-dreams. It’s been all about dream life and sleeping lately. I think I’ve talked about dreams lately with almost everyone. Talked about the power of dreams, flying in dreams, freaky sexual dreams, dreams so real you think they’ve happened for real etc. And then there’s sleeping and the enormous need of sleep all the time. This weekend that’s almost all I did. From Friday to Saturday I slept 13 hours, from Saturday to Sunday 11 hours. And that couldn’t stop me from taking 1,5 hour naps during the day. If I count the hours from Friday evening to Monday morning, then I’ve slept 35 hours from total 58. This is weird stuff. I think I’m starting to hibernate. When I’ve slept enough I hope the handsome prince will be on hand to wake me from my beauty sleep.

Edit: At least i wake up, after i've done my sleeping. Please read here about how one girl didn't wake up after a night out. It's in Estonian but i feel i need to spread the word. Don't leave your drinks alone when you party and don't let strangers buy you drinks. This is serious stuff!!

Ladybird

There’s a ladybird in my office. It’s actually walking on the verge of my computer screen right now. It’s November….and there’s a ladybird in our office:) I think there’s actually 2, because this one is red with black spots and about a week ago I saw one which was black with red spots. So…it’s November…and there are 2 ladybirds in our office:) It just makes me smile!

Nancy Sinatra
Ladybird

Nancy:
I've been where the eagle flies
Rode his wings 'cross autumn skies
Kissed the sun, touched the moon
But he left me much too soon
His lady bird...he left his lady bird

Lee:
Lady bird come on down
I'm here waiting on the ground
Lady bird I'll treat you good
Ah, lady bird I wish you would
You lady bird...pretty lady bird

Nancy:
Lightning flashed across the sky
The night he taught me how to fly
The sun came up and then I found
Too soon he let his lady down
His lady bird...I'm his lady bird

Lee:
Lady bird come on down
I'm here waiting on the ground
Lady bird I'll treat you good
Aw, lady bird I wish you would
You lady bird...pretty lady bird

Nancy:
Winter lives in my heart
In the times that we're apart
Summer sings a song or two
When he says 'I love you true'
My lady bird...yeah, I'm his lady bird

Lee:
Lady bird come on down
I'm here waiting on the ground
Lady bird I'll treat you good
Aw, lady bird I wish you would
You lady bird...pretty lady bird
Nancy:I'm your lady bird

Lee:You're a lady bird
Nancy:Yes, I'm a lady bird
Lee:You're too much you little bird

Music or movies?

“I can’t decide if I’m a music or a movie person,” N told me the other day. Not that you’d even have to choose, unless if you have to decide which of the 2 books – “1001 movies that you have to see” or “1001 albums you have to hear” – you want as a Christmas present. She finally chose to be a movie person.

Me, I’m definitely a music person. I enjoy a good movie once in a while and I can’t wait for the Black Nights’ Film Festival to start next week, but I must say sometimes a half a year can pass without going to the cinema. Music, on the other hand, has a tremendous effect on my life. Don’t ever try to take my music away from me. Sometimes a good song can tell you a whole story in just about 4 minutes. What is a movie compared to that:)

I love it how music comes to me from different sources. Sometimes it’s just a fragment i hear in a movie or series or even advertisement that catches my attention and makes me wanna look it up. Often my friends tell me if they’ve discovered something worth listening. Or, I hear a song at a party or in someone else’s playlist or blog etc. Very rarely I find new intriguing songs on radio or TV. By the time the songs I like make it to the charts, they’re usually old news for me. Not to mention that a lot of really excellent music never figures in the charts.

I think it’s amazing how songs can trigger emotions. There are songs, which always make me cry when I hear them, be it that they have so beautiful tune or the meaning of their lyrics. And then there are “good mood” songs, which (almost) never fail to lift my spirits. Like last week, when we were driving back from Riga, on a night bus. The bus was almost empty, it was dark and we were watching Sting’s “Inside Sacred Love” DVD. The emotions I got from it were really, really powerful, so I literally both laughed and cried. And yet, each time it surprises me, when it happens. Like when I’m at a concert and suddenly realize the effect the music is having on me.
Anyway, I was trying to get to some point with this story but I have a feeling I’m not reaching it:) Except that I am, for sure, a music person. If I think of the point later, I’ll come back and edit this post.

London, my London

Greetings, Earthlings! Sending my best from London this time. I think it must be my 5th or 6th time in this wonderful city. And it's always great to come back here. Glad i always have a reason to, as well, with S and J living here and all. The thing with travelling is that whenever i go somewhere, i always have a feeling i have to go there again, however, when i start planning the next holiday, i still feel i have to go to a new country. There are just so many places to discover.

Visiting the same place again, however, surely has its advantages. You've already got your systems working, you know what you definitely wanna see again and you know the places, don't get lost (well, only occasionally:) and can manage the transportation (the tube in this case).
This time around i've surely got my money's worth. Friday evening we went to the mexican restaurant Mestizo, run by my mexican friend's dad and his wife. I read on the internet that the restaurant has absolutely wonderful reviews. And i must say, the food was brilliant...and so were the margaritas, all 3 of them:) It didn't hurt that we got a special treatment from the staff, knowing the owners and all. Next time around, i'm surely going back.
Saturday we spent on Portobello market in Notting Hill, just chilling and looking around. And in the evening it was samba time in the Brasilian club called Guanabara. The funny part is that we had to be there already at 8! And the place was packed. Can you imagine. I've never gone to a nightclub at 8. In a way it's brilliant though. It means you can have a full evening full of dancing and still be home at 2 already and have a full day the next day. There was a live brasilian band (Saravah Soul) playing sort of funky, jazzy samba beats, something like Jamiroquai meets carnival. Absolutley loved it and rocked my socks off.
And last but not least, a little bit of Sunday shopping with S in Covent Garden. Didn't even bother going to Oxford street. Luckily enough I'm richer by a full outfit for Christmas party, so there'll be no last minute agonising this year. And now we've just had a wonderful Sunday roast, prepared by master J. Wish i could spend some more time here in their lovely home, but i guess i just have to start planning another long weekend. Cheers, mates!

Last week

Photo: Ardo Kaljuvee
Last week, Pink came to see me. Alright, she came to Estonia and I went to see her. I can’t say I’m a fan but she’s ok. And as she took the trouble of coming here….who am I to not go and see her show:) She seemed a bit tired or bored or she just couldn’t give a sh*t or maybe that’s what she’s about with the whole lot of attitude she’s got. Her live singing was better than I expected and she was really convincing in her act. And her acrobatics… 3 meters high in air, tangling on 2 strings of cloth…amazing! She’s got courage to do that without any safety cords AND keep singing while doing it. Respect! I don’t have any material from the Tallinn concert, but somebody filmed a bit of it on a Wembley concert, take a look here.
Photo: Ardo Kaljuvee
Last week, I also saw Fame, the musical. I’m not easily excited about musicals, if they don’t have either extraordinary good musical numbers or someone with amazing voice singing all the songs…and Fame sadly also failed to excite me. With one exception. The black Swedish guy (what a contradiction, right:) was really good in what he was doing in the dance numbers. And of course, his adorable Swedish accent just melted me. Then again, I may not be entirely impartial, for I’m a sucker for the accent. Anyhow, impartial or not, he danced really well.
Photo: Rocky
Last week, I also took part in a movie, in a “mass scene”. Or not so much of a mass scene, if you consider it was a house party with approximately 20 people or so. We went there with approximately 12 or more of our gang, we were dressed in 70’s style, were drinking wine and eating and being filmed at the same time. What a nice way to spend Saturdays:) I’ll let you know when to see me in the movie theaters.

It seems I did a lot last week.

Mask and moustache

Just a quick recap of what’s been up. Last Thursday brought a bit of glamour to my life, for monsieur Lee celebrated his birthday in Venetian masquerade style. Mask, boa, gloves up to my shoulders, little black dress and red shoes completed my look. The party was really glam, with a band and magician and ballroom dancing. Waiting for new interesting surprises next year. The pics are here.

Last Saturday it was the Borat day. With bunch of my friends we got to go to the pre-screening of the film. High fiiive! I laughed so much that I got a headache. After seeing the movie I don’t understand what is Kazakhstan whining about. The movie makes U, S and A look bad, with all their false puritanism and bigotry, not Kazakhstan. Who hasn’t heard about Borat must have been living under a stone, but if you’re really lost, let me know and I’ll give you some explanatory links. For the ones who know him and are wondering about how he could make the film happen, here’s some info about how the people were talked into consenting to interviews.

Rudebox

Today’s the day – Robbie Williams’s new album Rudebox is out. I must say it has surprised me in the most positive way. Not that I don’t have faith in Mr. Williams, course I do, he’s my main man. But…I mean, the album comes out less than a year after the last one and the man’s been on world tour for half of the time. Yet, the album is splendid. Better than the last one. I guess having all the great producers like for instance William Orbit and Mark Ronson aboard, helps a little. The album is very honest. In the song’s 80’s and 90’s you can pretty much listen to his whole life story and if you know a bit more about him from his book or interviews, several other songs can also be recognised as autobiographic. From all his albums, I think this one has most number of loans from other artists and genres. There’s a bit of Manu Chao, Pet Shop Boys and even Enya, the styles range from country to 80’s electro. And still, it’s got Robbie Williams written all over it and the whole bunch of eclecticism forms a tasty collection.

My top favourite songs are Louise, She’s Madonna, Actor, 80’s, Lovelight. Louise probably wins in lyrics and She’s Madonna in the tune department, even though you’d have to twist my arms to actually make me choose between the two:) Now, as I said, the album’s out, so go and buy it from your closest music store. But just to get you started, here’s one for you to listen. I only chose this one of the 2 because of all the publicity the lyrics have received.

Edit: I know a lot of the songs are covers of other artists, that does not bother me, they're still served in thick RW sauce. However, finding out that Louise was also a cover made me just a bit sad:(

Robbie Williams
She’s Madonna (just download it from here, i can't seem to get the listening thingy working)

Red shoes

So I bought those impractical but absolutely adorable red shoes. For 2 weeks I kept going back to the store to check if they were still there and I finally had the reason, motivation and finances to buy them. But believe me, if they bring about compliments like “the world’s sexiest shoes”, they are worth every penny and discomfort.

I know I must sound like a superficial babe but show me any woman, be she the-world-saving-philanthropist type or the-giving-all-her-money-to-the-poor type, who is not thrilled to treat herself once in a while with something really nice and girly, especially when it comes to shoes.

Being the star of the soap opera that my life is, i need to look amazing, don't i:)?

For R

Honey, I know you're going through hard times and that you're hurting and i promise it'll be alright...someday. Good things will start happening to you...for sure!

This song is for you:

Reamonn
Alright (link to live performance)

Wipe those tears away from your eyes
Just take my hand you don't have to cry
It'll be alright
I'll make it alright
Don't let the world get you down
Reach for the love that's all around
It'll be alright baby we'll make it alright

My newly found fame

So it turns out my stage appearance with Bobby Farrell and Boney M made it to the evening news. That means, approximately 156 000 people might have seen me on TV, ca 6000 of them belong to my favourite target group (men, 24-35, urban:) My name and company was mentioned twice during the short section, that means a lot of publicity (thank god I didn’t do anything stupid;). Anyway, it has yielded interesting results. I myself was not at home and did not see my TV premiere but a moment after it was on air my phone started ringing and people told me about it. Later my parents told me that several of family friends and relatives phoned to confirm if that really was me on the news. The next day, an old flame contacted me, and now we’re probably going out for a drink. Also, the next day, I got an email from someone I danced with at that party, asking me if we could meet up again for a bit of dancing. Hmmm…I think we just might. Lots is happening. I liiike! I guess that really was just a bit of good publicity.

How to spend Fridays

It all started Friday morning. I had just dropped off my sister at the bus station and was driving to work, when “Boogie wonderland” started playing on the radio and pfff…there he was, Mr Friday, on the backseat of my car. So, the whole day I felt that dance was in me, trying to get out. At the end of the workday we were already dancing at the office to Justin Timberlake “Sexy Back”. And it was only the beginning.

In the evening, after finding all the necessary accessories for N and myself, we made ourselves up and headed to the birthday party of an Estonia’s TV channel. The welcome drink was the deadliest alcoholic mix ever made – champagne with Vana Tallinn (do not try this at home!). After a little bit of small talking and a little bit of eating and drinking I pretty much focused on letting the dance out of me. So, at some point in the evening, the surprise band came on, which was…Boney M…the real and original one. So, after a while of dancing in front of the stage I was suddenly ON the stage, dancing with Boney M…hmmm…N later told me she was not surprised, for I had told her earlier that soon I’ll be dancing on stage. Go figure! I guess there goes my chance of ever becoming the president:) All-in-all, i got the dance out of me and it was a good night.

Welcome home!

Today’s the day! The day when our dearly beloved N finally returns from her 3-month Ecuador adventure. I’ve managed to survive the time, with seemingly no permanent damage (if not take into account that my hair is falling out and a couple of more stress-related bodily reactions). During those 3 months lots and lots has happened – there was the amazing Estonian summer, the Robbie concert, the Swede, the 2 of my personal small-scale crisis, the workload, the new clients, the one-week holiday, the numerous parties and events and so on and so forth. And N expects me to fill her in on all of that during one night…pfff….

Kalispera

Kalispera, my friends! I’ve been away but now I’m back in business. A bit more tanned, a bit more relaxed and richer by some moments and experiences.

Last week took me to the beautiful Greek island Crete. When we first got there, I must say I was not taken aback by the beauty, but hey, all the tourist resorts are supposed to look rather ugly, aren’t they. The sea and the mountains on the background, however, left some room for hope. And it really was only getting better.

First and foremost, I can never get enough of the beauties of Mediterranean Sea. If you take the bright blue (or sometimes bright green) water, add to that white sand (or sometimes pink sand, as seen at Elafonissi) the blue of the sky and the grey, green, brown or yellow of the mountains, you get numerous picture perfect moments. The best of these kinds of moments was on the last day when we rented a car and drove off to the most north-western peninsula. The distance from our hotel was not really long but the last leg of our drive was on a mountain road where we could literally go only ca 10 km per hour and it took us approximately 50 minutes to get through the 7 kilometers when the road ended and we had to walk across the mountain by foot. The view that presented to us when we reached the other side was breathtaking – bright blue lagoon, white sand, huge rocks in the water and perfectly blue sky.
Another location with picture perfect sights is the Santorini island, located north from Crete. To get there we had to get up at 4 am (and this on my holiday!!), take a bus for an hour or so and a boat for 5 hours just to spend half a day on a small island, where the little towns are filled with tourists, like Venice in August. However, as it was almost the end of tourist season, it was not so bad for us, and when staying away from the main streets, it was possible to wander around all alone and photograph the gorgeous white houses with their blue doors and the mountains and the sea and the lazy cats and dogs lying in the sun.
The most tiresome (but yet so rewarding) part of our trip was the 16 km walk through the Samaria Gorge (kuru) (supposedly the longest mountain gorge in Europe). For Samaria, we had to get up at 5 am (and this on my holiday!), in order to start earlier and get through the gorge before the hottest time of the day. The next evening after the “walk”, when I was putting on my dancing shoes, my calves were protesting rather loudly but I still won the argument, beauty demands sacrifice (and pain:)
When speaking about dancing, I have no idea how I always happen to get into the middle of “situations”. One evening there was a cabaret group performing in our hotel. 3 girls and a guy, and they were rather good I might add, doing all the different dances from belly dancing to salsa and classical ball-room dancing. At some point the guy asked a woman to dance from the audience and that was a sad sight, for she had no rhythm whatsoever. I was just sitting there, minding my own business, keeping a low profile, for I had just eaten, had not showered after a long day and I was not wearing my dancing shoes, when all of a sudden the guy was in front of me, grabbing me by the hand. Do I ever say no to dancing? Of course not! So, off went the flip-flops and there I was, dancing with the star of the evening, in front of all those people. He was so relieved to have a better dancer than the previous woman that he didn’t wanna let me go. Now, these situations make nice memories but it’s better if they were just memories, this time however, one of our group members filmed every last bit of my “performance”….i sure hope my micro mini skirt managed to cover my ass during all the twisting and turning.

A couple of more things in a nutshell – Greek cuisine is good and fresh, the wines are tasty, though rather unknown in the world, the people are friendly and the nature is stunning. The weather was pleasant and I think I managed to recharge my solar batteries for a while being.

Fragile

Have you ever wondered about how fragile is a human life. You stick a blade of a knife into the right place and a person dies. A tiny piece of metal, entering the body with high velocity can kill us. So can a reckless driver who hits us on the street. How can it be that in the evolution process we were formed so brilliantly that we have this whole elaborate system of bloodstream and muscles and nerves and digestion and so on, but our protection system is unbelievably weak. I think we definitely need some pimping in that department. Just think about it, we have a thin layer of skin covering all this intricate system. It’s even worse with the innate protection system and how badly we actually know what is going on inside of us. What we notice outside, are the small things, like when we gain or lose some weight, or we get a pimple or our skin colour changes after sun tanning – the mostly unimportant stuff. However, there’s often no way of knowing if there’s something really wrong with us. There could be a tumour a size of tennis ball somewhere inside us and we would have no way of knowing. For heaven’s sake, for a while we wouldn’t even know if there were a whole new life growing inside of us, before some obvious signs would give that away.

Have you ever felt that you want to LOOK inside of yourself, to see, what you have there or find out what is causing some pain so you would know what to do about it? I know doctors can actually do that but they usually do it if you already know, that you have some problem, which needs to be checked. They’d never give you a whole body scan without any reason, just for checkup. I know this topic is way too serious but when you hear that a young and seemingly perfectly healthy man dies in 2 months after finding out cancer has taken over his entire body and several other stories, it just makes you think. I’ve never been much of a fan of hypochondriacs and never will be but reasonable doubt is definitely wise when it comes to your own body and health. This is all we have here, one body and one life. Take care of it.

On and on the rain will fall
Like tears from a star like tears from a star
On and on the rain will say
How fragile we are how fragile we are

Sting - Fragile (live performance video here)

The Mating Game

It's almost weekend. Let the games begin! (If you wanna listen to the song, the link is under the song name)

Bitter:sweet
The mating Game

Dance with me across the ocean floor
Sail away to heaven's open door
Step right up you're the next contestant
In this sweet charade
Take a number, wait while I twist your fate

On the mating game
Mating game

Hold me close enough to drink my rose
The devil in my pocket turned to gold
Sorry to warn you, you're in a daze
Tonight I'll love you, but tomorrow go away
Step right up who's the next contestant
In this sweet charade?
Take a number, wait while I tease you sane

On the mating game
Mating game

Could you be...

Yesterday a boy told me i was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. (Well,I guess he hadn’t seen the latest pics of Scarlett Johannson…) I tried to convince him that it’s a well known side effect of alcohol that girls start to look more beautiful but he was rather persistent and wowed he’d be saying the same thing when he was sober too. Later on he also told me that in addition to me being beautiful I was also really cool and nice person. And later he also told me he really would like to get to know me better. All the perfect things to say, right!? All the regular lines of sweet-talking, right? Or was he being sincere? (Once in my life I’ve come upon such an instant admiration and he really was being sincere. He was just the type who didn’t really think before saying and spoke his first emotions.) Anyway, today I found out his age…hmm...he really still has years and years ahead of meeting beautiful girls. Maybe even more beautiful than me:) But what the hell is this about, year after year I start attracting younger guys? I know I don’t look my age but this is ridiculous. I will not go on and break the age record again, once a year is rather enough…

"Could you be the most beautiful girl in the world?
It's plain to see, you're the reason that god made a girl
When the day turns into the last day of all time
I can say i hope you are in these arms of mine"

Prince

The Swedes have left the country

Yep, it’s official, the legendary Mr. Acorn and Mr. Punisher have left Estonia. Last Saturday we packed their little “Ferrari” with all their stuff and sent them off to Sweden.

They came to Estonia and to our lives about a year ago, they somehow managed to find their way to our friends’ circle and to our little hearts….and now they left…How could they do that to us!?!? Now we have to manage to cope without their adorable Swedish accent and their jokes and their parties (I’ve got loads and loads of good things to say about them but this post should not be about praising them but about dispraising them for leaving us:). At last Friday’s farewell party I was so melancholy that even alcohol was not working. So, all those cocktails didn’t manage to get me drunk but the next day i still had a massive hangover, how cruel is that!?

Anyhow, temporary melancholy mood aside, the summer 2006 was absolutely amazing and the Swedes were an integral part of it and I have a feeling this is not the end of it all and we’ll be seeing more of them soon enough. That’s just the feeling I have. And my instincts don’t usually lie;)

"Sometimes it's good to feel something."

Rare speciMEN

I remember one day I was walking around in old town when I noticed a beautiful house and I remember thinking: “Wtf, has this always been here?!” I don’t know much about my city, either. I don’t know which is the oldest house and I haven’t been at the top of the tallest tower and I haven’t even been to the new KUMU. I know more about nice cafes, good places to eat, best places for dancing or just chilling, good shopping venues – you know, all the useful information.

Sometimes it’s nice to have friends from abroad visiting your city. Then you can do your part and take them to the beach overlooking the city and watch the sunset together and have them wonder about the fact that “Omg, you have real sand, I thought your beaches are stony, but this is like back home.” And you can take them to see the monastery and make pictures of the cemetery in the fading daylight and look at the ships in the red sunset afterglow. And you will have a good time and they will like it.

There’s an interesting point my foreign friends raised. “We don’t see any Estonian guys around. There’s loads of girls, who are gorgeous by the way, but where are the guys!? They seem to be a rarity. We’d like to photograph them. We bet your girls, when they’ve snatched one, have chained them to the beds or kitchen tables or bathroom pipes in order to not let them get away.” We were sitting in a café and I took a look around and that seemed to be true. I saw Estonian girls and women but the few men who were around were not Estonian…what’s up with that?

L.I.P.S.T.I.C.K

Ralph Myerz & The Jack Herren Band
"L.I.P.S.T.I.C.K"

Ok, my dear friends, here's a challenge for you. Listen to the song (the link is under L.I.P.S.T.I.C.K ) and help me find the 2 missing lines for the lyrics. I just cannot understand them. And if you find them on the internet, i don't mind, i still haven't been able to do that either:) First to answer (seemingly) correctly gets a prize.

I've got tonic
you've got gin
i tell the end
if you begin

you seem lonely
surrounded by your friends
there's no order
just lose ends

stick around
i've got lipstick on
turn around turn around
you've got dark shades on

i've got cigarettes
you've got light
i'll let you go
if you spend the night

you are here
you're already gone
safety in numbers
there is only one

stick around
i've got lipstick on
turn around turn around
you've got dark shades on

Creativity enhanced

Who would have thought creativity can be taught… and that there actually are techniques to enhance creativity both individually and in a group. But it can and there are and I know them now and you have no idea how creative I am at this very moment:) I have just arrived from a very intensive 2-day creativity training. It seems I’ve been away for a week. 3 nights of party and 2 days of brainwork. I must say it has drained me of all the energy. At least it’s Friday and Mr. Friday does not care that this week he’s been outrun by Mr. Tuesday, Mr. Wednesday and Mr. Thursday, he’s already lurking around, whispering sweet nothings to my ear. It also seems this week Mr. Saturday has been alarmed and he’s already waiting with ice preparing in the freezer and as I have heard through the grape wine, another Mr…Mr. Saaremaa (Härra Saaremaa) has been invited…. I hope I get safe and sound through this week and weekend.

Sunnight

It's 0:15 at night, the room's lit only by the TV and candles, i'm dancing around in the room to Bob Dylan's "Things Have Changed", watching the titles at the end of "Wonder boys", smoking a cognac dipped cigarette and sipping fruit tea...
...the small things in life...

Blue assed fly

Photo: Steve Alkok
I am really-really busy lately. Or, paraphrasing my good friend’s boyfriend’s dad: “I’m running around like a blue-assed fly.” I know I should take an aspirin and just chill out:) but I can’t afford it - too much work. However, as it is already “little Friday”, and before we move on to another weekend I need to jot down some catchwords from the last one.

Last Friday’s main event was the Simply Red concert. It was brilliant. You might think that after seeing all those artists this year, like for instance Depeche Mode and of course – Robbie Williams – what could a middle-aged red-haired man have to offer, but you’d be surprised. First of all Mick Hucknall’s voice is amazing, and secondly, the way he communicated with the audience, with the looks, moves, words….he really had us eating from his palm. People were jamming all through the concert and after he’d finally done all the encore songs like “Stars” and “If You Don’t Know Me by Now”, I had a feeling everyone left the concert hall totally satisfied.

Last Saturday’s main event was Kiku’s birthday. Now, you know how everybody’s always looking for new and interesting ideas for celebrating various parties and how hard it is to come up with something nuevo. However, this time I was surprised. The whole birthday gang met up at the railway station at 9 pm. Then we were taken on a bus, which would take us to Tartu for a party. That meant 2,5 hours of joyriding – having some drinks, chatting, making stops at gas stations, getting gradually more and more tipsy – you know, the normal warm-up party. By the time we reached the club Illusion in Tartu we were all quite in the mood for party. All the fun continued in the club – the music was good and we danced a lot but parts of the evening are a blur to me. I remember at some point Kiku was splashing people with Moet and that some people were sleeping (not me!) and that a girl! was hitting on me etc. The party ended at around 4 but the bus was not to leave before 5, so the whole group poured all over Tartu center. There was some wrestling, running, some crying and some laughing… How we all managed to not get lost and still catch the bus is beyond me. Anyway…at 8 am we were back in Tallinn, at the railway station, in pouring rain, reluctant to go home, under the examining eyes of the “normal people” for whom the new day had already started. Some of the personal tragedies of that evening aside, it was a good party!

Overload

Seth: Why do people cry?
Maggie: What do you mean?
Seth: I mean...what happens physically?
Maggie: Well...umm...tear ducts operate on a normal basis to lubricate and protect the eye and when you have an emotion they overreact and create tears.
Seth: Why? Why do they overreact?
Maggie: [pause] I don't know.
Seth: Maybe...maybe emotion becomes so intense your body just can't contain it. Your mind and your feelings become too powerful.

"City of Angels"

Ever wondered about that? About crying...and emotions...? What i I think, is...whatever the case, whatever the outcome, having feelings and emotions, good or bad, is always better than having none at all. What i've also learned is that there's no point in fighting emotions and that even tears are good sometimes.

¿no hablan inglés?

If any of you feels you want to read my blog in Spanish, then this is how it looks like. I think this whole translate.google.com is pretty genial and the translation seems to be quite logical...though, translating Robbie Williams fans as "Robbie Williams ventilators" may not quite communicate the meaning.

I'm not tellin...

Whenever i have a bigger pause in blogging, it can be of various reasons. Either my life is too good, so that i don't have time to write, or it's bad and i don't feel like writing, or i'm away or i'm just too busy etc. So, there's really no way of telling which one of the reasons it is this time.

I am still not writing, so i will not tell you about last weeks events or how me and my bro and sis were making a present for our parents' anniversary and how it turned out or how i went to see Taarka in the very south of Estonia or how i slept for 15 hours or how i (again!) wished someone happy birthday in my dream and then forgot to do it in real life. Since i am not telling you about all of those things it's better that you ask about them from me.

Pic 2

Summer is almost over...at least that's the feeling i have.

Robbie Williams – the best show ever!

Photo: Magnus

We reached the Berlin Olympiastadion at approximately half past 4. The gates opened at 3 already and the first support act was planned to hit the stage at 6. It was only later that I heard that the first lucky ones got a special entry to the fan zone, closest to the stage. But we did still pretty ok and took our places not far from the fence bordering the fan zone which means that Robbie was actually visible on stage and not only on the huge screens.

When I first entered the stadium, it took my breath away. The stadium itself is huge and pretty spectacular and the stage looked amazing and the anticipation of the upcoming concert suddenly hit me. Later, when Robbie got on stage and looked around, he too was amazed by the beauty and grandiose of the 1936 built stadium filled with his fans.

The weather was extremely hot and we had to refresh ourselves with several very nice cooling drinks, like mojitos and cuba libres and so on. So, by the time the first support act started we were already in a rather elevated mood. The timing throughout the show was tuned with German accuracy. The first act was Orson. I know only one song by them and they failed to impress me. The second act was Basement Jaxx and they really managed to get the crowd going. I’ve liked them for years now and they were as good as I expected them to be.

At 8.30 it was finally time for the “main man” to start the show. Robbie got me mesmerized from the moment he got on stage and I think I’m still under the influence a bit. At least one thing is 100% sure – I need to see him live again. Robbie for me is one of the very few artists who actually sounds better live than on the record. Add to that the way he acts on stage, how he can capture the audience and the jokes he makes, the way he talks to the people and the passion with which he sings, and you get a perfect live show experience. My favorite songs from this tour’s set list were: Tripping, Monsoon, Make me pure, Advertising space, Feel and the last encore song – Kids. For make me pure he had the audience to sing the chorus and only did the verse part by himself, that was amazing.

Only when the show was over, I felt the pain in my feet. Imagine standing and dancing for more than 5 hours in a row. The soles of my feet were hurting so bad that I actually took the shoes off and went all the way home barefoot, but I couldn’t care less after a show like that. Oh, and another thing, during the show Robbie and his friend Johnny Wilkes have a competition of who can kick a small signed football further away in the audience. One of these 2 balls landed in the hands of one of my friends, who was also at the concert. Imagine the luck! But she’s also been a fan for years and years, so I am only mildly jealous:)

Berlin

Greetings, Earthlings! Reporting from Berlin this time. This is where the whole Robbie Williams saga which started about a year ago, came to it's hapy ending. The concert was amazing, almost orgasmic. But i'll write a whole post about it a bit later.

Berlin has also been treating us well so far. The last time i was here about 10 years ago or so when i was just a teenager. Don't remember much of that time. And to tell you the truth, i didn't expect much of Berlin but now that i've seen it's different faces i think it's actually worth coming back here for another long weekend or so.

Yesterday a friend who's local, took us to the more alternative, more underground Berlin The whole area was filled with crappy little places, like for instance "fake beach bars" in the backyards of the buildigs with sand and beach chairs and fake palm trees. Working girls were standing at the side of the road, wooing the potential customers. Lots and lots of artist type people were chilling in the bars and on the streets and the air was thick with the smell of hemp. We were too tired to fully enjoy it but i think we'll be going back tonight. So, wait for new reports.

The perfect evening

July is the high season of holidays. Everybody’s out of town – people are trippin’, travellin’ and chillin’ in all the possible and impossible locations. For a while there we were just the 3 of us left in the city, 3 working people, 3 friends trying to make the best of the lunchtimes and the evenings. It seems to me we’ve done a pretty good job at it.

Like the other night, we went to the beach, it was windy and the evenings haven’t been very warm lately, but we brought our sleeping bags and there we were, laying down in the baggies (kotude sees;) our backs against a big stone, watching Snatch from my laptop (the little speakers were doing one hell of a job and managed to be louder than the wind), eating sandwiches (courtesy of Anni), drinking beer and smoking waterpipe. Que plaisir! We got loads of strange and surprised looks from people walking or jogging by and we managed to outstay everybody else on the beach and headed home long after the sunset.

It was a very lovely evening.

“Oh it's such a perfect day, I'm glad I spent it with you…” - Lou Reed “Perfect Day"

This is my church...

Lots of stuff has been happening, and it’s been fun, amigos! I just need to jot everything down so when it’s December I can remember all the fun I was having this summer. Estonian summer’s been good to us. Like Mr. Svenne pointed out on the beach on Sunday afternoon: “Take a look at the sea and sun and heaven and beach and the moment…and remember it…for December.” And so I did.

But last Friday there was a birthday party to celebrate (also known under the name of “F*ttslem reloaded” – don’t even ask the meaning, it comes with a story:). Where else than in Estonia….that you take a container of helium as a birthday present and you see a group of grown-ups inhaling the helium, talking with cartoon voices and laughing their asses off. Kids out there, I’m telling you this ...you don’t need no drugs when you’ve got the company and a bit of helium:)! I have a feeling the neighbors didn’t quite like us though (but why?!?)…but then again, a good party actually should have a visit by the police, or no? Anyway….loads and loads of fun it was!

What else, oh, yeah, as from Saturday I’ve got wheels and at least for a while being I can drive around and enjoy the freedom a car provides. (Not enjoying the rising gasoline prices that much, though.)

Sunday was exactly like it was supposed to be – zoom out and just chill. Religious people go to church on Sundays. With good weather, the beach is my church, so that’s where I need to go. Swimming, sunbathing, dozing off, smoking the waterpipe…all that in the excellent company of 4 men – tell me if that is not paradise. If church was like that, I tell you I’d be going on a daily basis:)

"This is my church. This is where I heal my hurts..." - Faithless "God is a DJ"

I’ve got hate inside of me

Bad things are happening to good people. And lots of things have been happening lately. With me it’s all the bodily accidents – there were the 2 broken bones in my arm, then there was the leg injury from the football game, let’s not forget the getting hit in the face on the beach by a stupid volleyball (when I was just lying there, minding my own business) and all the smaller bumps and bruises which are not even worth mentioning.

With the people close to me, it’s the “police news” accidents. I’ve told about the 2 break-ins in N’s place. Now we have a new victim - Mr. Acorn. Some bastards broke into his car yesterday, smashed the back window and took his laptop while we were having an after-work swim. How many times do I have to say this…”Get a job, bastards and earn money to buy your own stuff!” Why would anyone go breaking into a 1986 Opel Corsa is still beyond me – it surely doesn’t look like there could be anything to steal from it. Now, finding a new back window for this car is gonna be tricky.

And just to be 100% clear about this – I hate thieves!

"Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is like expecting a bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian." - Dennis Wholey

Pic 1

Just because i like this pic.

Lithuania

I had a good weekend, again. Lately, one of the main keywords has been “expect less, get more”, for whenever I’ve had low expectations (or none at all) of some event, it has turned out to be really fulfilling. Another keyword of this summer’s events has been “everything connected with sea” – beaches, ships, waves, fish etc…I’m trying to read the signs here, but I don’t get it. Should I become a fisherman? Or marry a sailor, or what? As also proven in one of the conversation of the weekend…reading signs can be real difficult.

Anyways, this last weekend we went to meet our company’s Latvian and Lithuanian partners who were a lot nicer than expected. We all met up in Lithuania and staid in an absolutely amazing place by the Curonian lagoon (Kursio Marios), where the host and hostess were taking excellent care of us. The 200 kg weighing chefs prepared us delicious meals and the local beer and cold rosé wine were perfect for washing it down and cool us in the 34 C degree summer heat.

The little lagoon is almost a closed body of water and was too warm to provide any kind of refreshment. So, we took the boats to cross the lagoon and check out the sand dunes on the peninsula and chill a little bit on the beaches of the Baltic Sea, on the other side of the peninsula. And in the evenings we talked, we bonded, we partied, we made speeches, we sang, we ate, we drank, we laughed, we cried and we made new friends. And it was all worth the 22-hour drive there and back.

Paris

Last night i dreamt i made out with Paris Hilton....
I don't like Paris Hilton....
Analyse that...my shrink friends....

Viva la Summer

In winter I get up at night

And dress by yellow candle-light.

In summer quite the other way

I have to go to bed by day.

- Robert Louis Stevenson

Summer turns out to be so busy with all kinds of social events that I have no idea where from to take the time for working. Next weekend has been planned for me by other people, so has the weekend after….then one weekend free and then a long weekend in Berlin and the RW concert.

This week alone there has been dinner with friends (S, it was so good to see you and Jazz again!), watching football with friends and a short but surprisingly fulfilling trip to another little Estonian island called Prangli.

It’s a small island, only 6 km2 in area and around 120 people living on it, but it has forest and lovely beaches, local school, shop and bar. When we arrived at the harbor, I was just photographing some really old and tired-looking boats there. Only moments later it turned out we were taking one of them to cross the 18 km of water for reaching the island. Altogether we spent only one day on Prangli – from Tuesday afternoon to Wednesday afternoon, but it felt like at least a long weekend. Most of the time our activities were “chill and grill” and some drinking of some totally legal things and some smoking of some almost legal things. The company was good and the hangover-day jokes by Mr. Rassu kept us all perfectly entertained. I made a mental note about the island for the next event with either my colleagues or my friends. Lovely!

Those bastards....

This is the post I don’t really want to write but at the same time I feel I have to. After the fabulous weekend in Hiiumaa, when we reached N’s place, there was a surprise waiting for us. Not a pleasant one. She had had some uninvited visitors, who had messed up the whole place and taken away her valuable things. I don’t get it, why do those bastardly, sunamabitches thieves go and take from where there isn’t much to take. I mean, get a real job and BUY stuff like the rest of the people do!

This was another one of the stories in the series of “when you are away and having an excellent time, you come home and all the good emotions vaporize to air”. Roughly 4 months ago, when N returned from Venezuela, it was the same situation. The thieves had taken all the more attractive items, like 2 laptops, mobile phones etc. This time (and I’m sure it was the same people) they took what was left, that they rejected the first time, like the stereo, gold watch and jewellery etc. The place was a mess, all the things out of the cupboards and so on. And the worst part was that they had also taken her passport….2 days before her 3-months travel to Equador.

She is now virtually almost without any earthly possessions. The last 2 days have been all about running errands – getting a new passport, getting the visa copies from the embassy in Sweden, acquiring new vaccination certificates etc. I am so glad she finally managed to get everything sorted, so she could leave for the 3-month travel and is able to forget all this s*it and start over after coming back. For sure, I’m gonna miss her but I’m still glad for her.

Hiiumaa reloaded

Photo: Roki

This weekend it was Jaanipäev again (or Ligo for Latvians or San Juan for Spanish or just mid-summer celebration for everybody). And quite like last year, we headed to the adorable island Hiiumaa. This time we were under the loving care of G. (a.k.a. Mr. G-spot) and his family and he was a wonderful host.

Our whole adventure started on Thursday evening when by coincidence we (me, N and Roki) happened to shop for drinks in the same supermarket with our 4th passenger Mr. T (a.k.a. the invisible friend). Mr. T was telling us horror stories how people going to Hiiumaa were standing in queue for the ferry for 5-7 hours. Smart, as we all are, we came up with the plan to leave Tallinn at 3 to catch the first ferry at 6. However, at 3, without any sleep, the plan did not seem quite as attractive any more. Nevertheless, we hit the road and by 5 we were in harbor among the first lucky (read: tired) ones. It took us a lot of willpower to not call our hosts already then. So we called at 7.30 when we landed and asked for directions. They were absolutely certain we were f***ng with them up to the moment we actually reached the house;)

Ridiculously early departure time and exhaustion aside, we gained a whole day of perfect leisure with sunbathing, swimming, chilling, calimochos, games, waterpipe, delicious food, good company and lots of fun. In the evening we did all the necessary elements of Jaanipäev – the fire, of course, eating a lot, for sure, jumping over the fire, alone and together with friends and some of the less necessary elements – like for instance wrestling on the grass, getting lots of bruises in the process. For some reason we forgot about the tradition of running over the meadow naked at the crack of dawn…or maybe I just don’t remember or maybe i was already asleep at the time.

The day after was like a day after should look like, another day with perfect leisure and just chilling. The catchword of this day was football. Unfortunately to all of us and especially to our Swedish friends Svenne, Mr Acorn and rootsi Mariliis, Sweden lost against Germany. Had they won we would have witnessed a striptease by our darling Swedes. Not to forget, we played some football ourselves too. After a lot of fake injuries I got one for real as well. Now most of my right calf is blue-blackish and swollen, it’s real pretty:) And later, of course some perfect food and drinks and fire again. And for the midnight snack we had freshly smoked fish and ash-potatoes. Mmmm….could it be any more perfect? And then of course some dancing on the table during the sunrise, lots of good stories and laughing, laughing, laughing a lot.

The last day was some more chilling and then back to the mainland. As usually, many-many more things happened and lots of stories will be left untold but again we had a perfect time, so, thanks to our hosts and thank you Hiiumaa, you never fail to excite me:)

Madrid and Barcelona – day 9, 10, 11, 12, 13

Last day in Madrid went flying by. Things to remember are, first, watching the first game of the Spanish team…you can imagine how empty the streets of Madrid were during the game. And second, another date with J.

The same night at around 5 in the morning we hit the road and headed for Barcelona, yipii… beaches and waves, here we come. And the road lasted and lasted and lasted – almost 7 hours altogether and as we’re dealing with the Catalan region, you can be sure they charge money for everything. We paid 22 euros just for the highway toll. Believe me, it’s cheaper to fly.

Reaching Barcelona, we headed straight for the beach….and that’s pretty much how the rest of the days in Barcelona looked like:) Every day there was some beach fun, some sightseeing, some eating and drinking and some going out. Our host P was amazing, he just let us stay in his new rental flat where even he or none of the roommates were not staying yet. Wonderful.

When comparing the 2 cities, I must say that as a city I like Madrid a wee bit more. Barcelona has the sea and the beach – can’t compete with that, but it’s soooooo full of tourists. Madrid is more authentic, with all the little crappy places, it’s somewhat dirty streets and local people. Barcelona is tidier, with lots of beautiful people but not the “real thing”. The waves of course were fantastic, I’m always surprised how much power water has, one seemingly little wave can strip you from your bikini and splash you almost back on the beach. Anyways, me and R had a lot of fun jumping in the waves after a couple of cuba libres – uff…almost better than sex.

On Sunday, when R left back to Madrid, I got the feeling that it was time to go home. Maybe it was because I was alone or maybe 2 weeks was just enough for the moment being but it felt right that I’d be going home the next day. But I’m definitely going back! You can bet on it.

Madrid – day 6, 7 and 8

Hey. Yes, I am still reporting to you from Madrid. The plans changed so we head for Barcelona tomorrow, or rather tonite, at sth like 4 o´clock, cause it´ll take us around 6 hours by car. I´m not complaining, I love Madrid and I´ve got lots to do.

On Sunday we went to Rastro in the Latina neighbourhood – that´s street market. It´s something like Portobello market in Notting hill London, but bigger. There´s lots and lots of streets filled with people selling almost everything. You can buy your whole wardrobe, plus stuff for your home and heaps of tacky stuff that you´ll never need but which seem too cool for not buying. Rastro is a lot of fun, especially because the variety of people you see there – and I don´t mean the buyer, the sellers are the ones who range from dreadlocked hippies to old and wrinkled little grannies. And when you´re already tired from shopping, you just head to the closest bar, where you can have a beer and where R forces you to eat snails. That was like fear factor, if I wasn´t looking, they were not so bad but I just couldn´t get the image out of my head.

Later on we sat in a nice little café, eating churros, headed on to another place for drinks and for meeting the cute barman (let us call him J) and his friend and later back home. Each night that we don´t go out, we watch Friends. I think we have just reached the end of the first season:) (Oh, just a little sidemark, but still important in the whole story – I got an awful allergic reaction on my face, and I have no idea what it was from – the sun, or some food or some make-up stuff together with sun? really no idea. Yo no tengo ni ideja.).

Monday saw us 2 girls chilling by the pool (me covering my face just to be sure) and later shoe shopping in a…well…a shoe shop – talk about girly day. And later the same day there was a date with the cute barman/some kind of other job man/future director (as in movie or documentary or tv show director).

Tuesday we hit some of the tourist sites, like for instance an Egyptian temple. The thing with the temple is following…one might wonder what is an Egyptian temple doing in Madrid, but as R was telling me…at some point in history all the major European countries headed to Egypt and when talking about visiting other countries, you bring souvenirs, right? Well there you go…oh, what a cute temple, let´s take it home. There´s not many of them left in Egypt.

And then we had lunch in a creperie, sent my postcards (the ones getting them can now officially start waiting for them) and headed home, for I had to get home and get ready for another date with J. I know there´ll be a whole bunch of people now going, oh, come on K, spill the details, but I say…just call me when I get back home and we meet for a coffee and we can speak more about my travel, ok:)?

And even later in the evening we were just walking around Madrid with a whole group of Aegee people. Oh, I met this guy A again who 4 years ago came to Estonia to a summer university. Time sure has flewn….

Madrid and Toledo – day 4 and 5

Friday took us to Toledo, or to be precise, R´s car took us there:) Toledo was nice, the kind of town where you can enjoy the little streets going up and down and up and down, have a nice coffee and eat something – and can do all that in one day. For my taste, it was a bit too ….historical. Madrid has so much more to offer with all the diversity.

One thing I still cannot get used to is the habit of eating dinner so late. It´s usually 9 or 10 o´clock, but definitely never before 8, and after dinner you only start getting ready for a party. Imagine I was taking shower at sth past 12, to go out after that. We were going to a discotheque called Aventura, in R´s neighbourhood. R told me that probably because the place is so close to her home she always used to get really drunk in there and this Friday was no different. For the most of the evening I felt like a tourist attraction – lots of guys approaching me, asking if I was wearing lenses and where I was from etc. However, as most of them were trying to speak in Spanish I had to let my pimp (mi chulo) R talk to them. Now, about the getting drunk part…that was all because of a really cute barman who was also taking some interest in us and just bringing the drinks for free the whole night…

Considering the previous night, the next morning was not one of the easiest ones in my life (que horror) and the prospect of going to meet R´s family didn´t sound too appealing. However, the day turned out to be really nice. Meeting the parents, the brother and the cousins, eating some home-cooked paella, trying to answer sth back when they were all speaking Spanish to me:) At some point I just smiled and nodded…while trying my best to get over the hangover and stay awake.

And in the evening there was a birthday and housewarming party of a friend of R´s. When trying to generalize, then it seems to me that the people here drink less, smoke more but more or less enjoy themselves and party the same way as young people back home.

Interlude

Before i write more about my experiences in Spain, i have 2 announcements to make.

First....i managed to miss the birthday of my blog....June 7th. Congratulations to myself:)

Second...hell froze over and N started blogging (take a look here). So, if we take a look at the date....June 6th...couldn´t she have waited for one day:)?

Madrid – day 2 and 3

This was the momentous day of the cast coming off. Ooh…it felt good. You know, if there´s more than 30 degrees outside, the cast feels like you´re wearing a helmet which is 2 numbers too small. So, now, instead of the cast I´m wearing some equipment which makes me look like a wonder-woman or probably someone from Star wars:)

On Wednesday I digged some more city, just chilling, feeling the vibe, walking through some important tourist spots, blending into a group of Japanese tourists – they never noticed, probably because your vision is limited through lens, had a huge cuba libre in a small street, chatting with a guy from States and a girl from Honduras (topics: Picasso, Dali, bullfighting and Sex and the city), forgot totally about time, had to rush home for a quick shower before going out, had a dinner with Aegee people, walked miles in the city with R, headed to Huertas – the pubbing-clubbing-drinking area, danced in a club for a couple of hours and took the night bus home. So much about Wednesday in a nutshell.

On Thursday R had free and we could have a real holiday day, just chilling by the pool and suntanning and getting a mild sunburn. Later we headed for the more “cool” areas of Madrid. First it was the Fuencaral shopping street where you can find shops for people with cool hobbies to numerous tattoo places and lots of pierced people with dreadlocks. Fuencaral leads us to even more liberal area – the gay neighbourhood called Chueca. These parts of Madrid I really like – it´s a bit dirtier than you average shopping streets but you won´t see any tourists there, just a whole range of colourful locals and lots of nice little places where you can for instance have a huge calimocho and eat pigs ears (we did that for real:) And after that we went back home, had a bit of Vana Tallinn and watched almost the whole first season of Friends.

Madrid - day 1

For about 2 weeks i will be reporting to you from Spain. Whoever is interested, can keep track of my travel here. I´d also appreciate if you told me in comments how life is going in your lives and respective countries.

What do you suggest was the first thing I noticed yesterday in Barcelona airport, going from one terminal to the other? It was a lonely palm tree, peeking around the corner of the building. There was no more nature, just this one tree, but it was pretty meaningful as palm trees have always symbolised warm countries and pleasant travels for me. Lingered in Barna airport for several hours and flew on to Madrid, where R took me under her protective wing and into the comfort of her home, which is luckily enough not far from the city center. The only sad thing so far is that Nk couldn´t join us:(

Madrid welcomed me with summer heat (33 degrees), dusty roads and lots of construction works. The city is really big but not entirely incomprehensible and not quite as touristic as I feared. As I was walking down some of the smaller and quieter calles of Madrid, sneaking a peek into little cafes where only the locals of that street go, smelling the coffee and something sweet being baked, I remembered why I keep doing this, the travelling. It´s all about variety. However much I love the homey and familiar places, it´s the new emotions and images and people and smells and tastes that tingle my brain and fully re-energize me.

And on a more earthly topic… I don´t know what it is about being abroad but I always really feel like buying stuff. I wanna buy shoes and bags and clothes etc. I´ll be coming back home with a hole in my wallet…and in my credit card. I just hope some of the things will be gifts to my beloved ones and not just new things for my humble self:)

Edit: The night was salsa night. Went to a club where they first teach some salsa and later on everybody just shows off what they can do on the dance floor. Imagine me, three-ways crippled: a beginner in salsa, not understanding Spanish (expect for un, dos tres…) and one arm in cast. But don´t you worry, I wasn´t sobbing in the corner. Spanish guys don´t really care if you don´t understand or if you´ve got a broken arm (un brazo roto)…the legs are fine, that means, you can dance:)

TM birthday

This place is reserved for the post about our company's birthday celebrations, but it only makes sense to write about it when i already have the pics to show it too. But it's worth to wait for....so, patience people, patience!

Photo competition vol 1

A lot has been going on in my life lately. Paradoxically, when there's lots going on, there’s not enough time to write about it. However, some events must not go unnoticed. Last Wednesday we held our first friendly photo competition. 4 contestants, 5 categories, 3 jury members, 20 good photos and 2 winners. The categories this time were: spring, white, old, retro and sport. The final “gala” night at my place was good fun and good things are worthy of sequels – so…soon enough there will be Vol 2. Next time we're gonna have 1 more contestant and several members of the jury have promised to sponsor the event with prizes.

Now, though we already had our winners, an internet voting won’t hurt either, would it? So, you guys, please take a look at the picture and tell me, which one in each category would you pick as a winner (click on the picture to enlarge it).

One cast on offer...any bidders?

I’m getting real tired of the whole arm-in-cast thing. It’s tedious. I’m beginning to hate capital letters when typing, I despise washing dishes and I soon give up showering – too much hassle doing everything with one hand and trying to keep the other one dry. And I so much miss sleeping on my belly.

I must admit there are just a couple of positive aspects too, like all the attention I get when I’m wearing all my yellow and pink and black cast coverings …..but to be honest, I’d rather get noticed for different reasons….At first I thought there must have been a reason for such a stupid accident and breaking 2 bones exactly at the places where I had the caps on….you know, something big that universe was trying to tell me….but now I’ve given up that thought too, because nothing good has yet come out of it.

BVSC

I still can’t believe it….yesterday i saw Buena Vista Social Club…performing live…here in Estonia. As some of the original members are not with us any more, they call themselves Buena Vista Masters (at least I think that’s the reason). They’ve got some younger blood, too, but some of the oldies are still alive and kicking and did not roll on stage in wheelchairs, with droppers and respirators, as my date suggested before the concert:)

Those guys are really amazing. Take, for instance, Orlando, playing the contrabass. He’s the only one who has played on every track on every album of BVSC, he’s 73, he had to be helped on and off the stage…but boy, can he play the bass…and he keeps touring, respect! Or, take Manuel, he must also be sth close to 70 and still he’s a ladies’ man. While on stage, he put an eye on a lady dancing at the side of the stage. He kept waving and smiling at her, while playing his guitar with great virtuosity. We saw him looking for the lady after the performance.

And the music… and the rhythm... and moves they have inside of them, dying to get out. Made me really feel like chilling on a beach, sipping a mojito and dancing to salsa rhythms. Gotta plan a trip to Cuba before the old Fidel dies.

This was unexpected 2

So I got my cast on Monday, right. Nevertheless, Wednesday saw me back in the emergency room. I had a feeling sth was not quite right. Complained to the doc, made some new x-ray pics et voila …as it turns out, I have another broken bone, inside my elbow. Maybe I should go ahead and make a full-body x-ray, just in case?

Anyways, first the doc told me there were 2 possibilities – 1) a bigger cast, to also cover my elbow and 2) surgery….he consulted another doctor, an orthopedist, and as it turned out, we went for a third option 3) physiotherapy – meaning I have to move my elbow every day on the very limit of pain ant then after a week we shall see if I still need surgery. The future has never been brighter... And another thing… YOU try moving sth that hurts like hell…believe me, you’re not gonna like it (unless you are inclined to masochism).

This was unexpected

I was reading this book yesterday by Arundhati Roy “The God of Small Things”. There’s this one place that says: “Everything can change in one day.” In the book they’re still hinting on the things that will start changing. I, however, learned the hard way yesterday that everything can change in just one moment.

Went checking out my new route for rollerblading, stepped (rolled) down the pavement and almost on zero speed, fell backwards so unhappily that I broke my wrist. Not much of a surprise that nobody stopped to help. What do you do when you see a girl sitting on a pavement, caps off, blades on, crying and holding her arm. Sure, you stare out of your car window, drive on and think how lucky you are to be all right.

Just by coincidence, a friend drove by, took me to emergency and spent the whole 1,5 hours with me. Half of the time there, I was crying. Not because of the pain, as everybody seemed to be assuming, but because of the psychological hit. I have never spent any time in hospitals, during my adult life the only things I’ve ever caught, have been a couple of colds. I’ve never felt more helpless than yesterday, when the nurses put the cast on…it stays on for a whole month! So far, buttoning my shirt and putting on the bra have proven to be the hardest challenges….tonight, however, another one awaits…the shower. Anyone wanna help;)?

Prodigy

Photo: Indrek Galetin

Isn’t it funny how some bands’ audience doesn’t age? I went to a Prodigy concert last Friday. They’ve been around since nineties and the main men must be close to middle age now but their fans are mostly pre-teens and teens. Most of the audience was too young to even remember the beginning of Prodigy. Made me feel kind of special:) Maybe it’s got to do with the fact that you’re supposed to move really fast to the rhythm of their songs, don’t know.

And then there are other bands whose fan community ages with them. Went to a Depeche Mode concert back in March. They’ve got 40-year olds coming to their concerts and knowing every single song by heart. Sure, they’ve got loads of young fans too, cause they keep on making hit songs and topping the charts. Respect!

For me there are some artists who I’ve only come to like later in my life, even though they’ve been around for a while, DM is one of them. Sting is another – he only captured my heart with his latest album and now I can’t wait for the next one. I wonder who’ll be my next discovery of the great performers who I’ve managed to avoid so far.

Days go by

Days have passed without anything meaningful happening. Seemingly. For sometimes the most seemingly unimportant things can turn around and bite you in the ass or, moreover, change the whole course of history. I guess I’d better write them down…

Found another good quote in “About a boy”. “If other people can make you happy then they can also make you unhappy.” True. True. On my night out, got 2 phone numbers from 2 different guys, who, interestingly enough bore the same name. That was weird. Got into another fight with my butterflies, who, when they could nicely be of help, have decided to go on a far-away holiday. Found a new current favourite song – Gnarls Barkley “Crazy”. Love it. Realised that guys have to really think twice if they’re gonna be an asshole to some girl, especially, if they possess inadequate sexual skills or lack considerably in the equipment department, because girls spread the word and the guy ends up in the “damaged goods” department. This was not my personal experience. Sat in a small town railway station and pondered about possibility of life at countryside. Not for me. Saw a guy wearing a red hood and headphones, who later saved my sorry hung over self from suffocating by helping me open the windows in the train. Did a lot of catching up with PM. Cleaned up my home. Ate one too many ice creams. Realised how much I like that I don’t ever have to go through the high school exam period any more. Worried about my sister. Had an absolutely normal one and a half days with my parents. Worried about N. Saw my first butterfly this year.

Heat wave

The last couple of days we’ve been having an unexpected “heat wave” and sunny weather and it’s been wonderful. The good things that come as a direct result or as a byproduct of good weather are (in no particular order):
- people are smiling
- it’s warm enough to wear shoes, stockings and skirts, without freezing your ass off
- grass is getting green
- I can rollerblade again!! (today was the unofficial opening of the season for me – the first 10 km)
- bringing the garbage out is no more a whole “project north pole” with all the necessary preparations
- the mini skirts and motor bikes are back on the streets

One of the byproducts of the first warm rays of sun is of course the inability to think straight and form logical sentences…but hey, thinking is anyway clearly overrated, right:)?

Crash

Went to see Crash yesterday. It was good – rough and beautiful at the same time. Really makes you think about things. Who’s really the good guy and who’s the villain? Who’s the coward and who’s the hero? Every action triggers a reaction and every deed has its consequences.

The movie also gave me a new song to listen to…over and over again…

Bird York

In the deep

Thought you had all the answers
to rest your heart upon
but something happens
don’t see it coming, now
you can’t stop yourself
now you’re out there swimming
in the deep

Life keeps tumbling your heart in circles
till you let go
till you shed your pride and you climb to heaven
and you throw yourself off
now you’re out there spinning in the deep

The only way is up...

Whewwww…we’ve done it, we’ve successfully survived the ever-lasting-f*cking-nine-months-long winter and from now on everything is only getting better. The weather (especially the sun) must be the best bit of the good things that are happening, but it’s just the first of the whole list.

Thanks to the wonderful blog world i managed to pin down the "disease" that's been bothering me. Turns out it's just really SAD...(as in - not funny:)
S.A.D. means 'seasonal affective disorder', a type of winter depression that affects half a million people every winter between September and April. (Lethargy, overeating, apathy, loss of feelings, anxiety, mood changes, vulnerability to infections and viruses). (I found it here). But hey…I can already feel that it’s almost gone.

So, there’s the spring weather and the sun, there’s the recovering from SAD…and there’s the great holiday to look forward to. I’ve bought my tickets to Barcelona for 2 wonderful weeks in Spain in June (Ruth, honey, be prepared and get the cherries ready, the cherry-sensation girls are coming;)

Oh, not to forget…I went out yesterday, had a wonderful time and ended up dancing and afterwards having a late after-party drink and 3dimensional philosophical conversation with a group of 7 (or were there 8...hmm) guys. Ain't that a snow white situation:)? See, it takes just the small things to make a girl feel special. So, that was no. 4 on the list.

And last, but not least… i still have a whole long weekend ahead of me, including some good time at my parents' place, lots of good food, rest and egg painting. Gotta love that!

The Mask

You start with a shower
(To wash off yesterday)

Then you take a long look in the mirror
(This is decision time)

Then you slowly start putting on the mask

First…the make-up
(For staying strong)

Then…the dress, the high heels and the stockings
(For confidence)

And as the last thing…you put on a smile
(Let the show begin!)

Loneliness

Had another one of the regular weekends – partying one night, chilling (sleep-eat-read-sleepsomemore etc) the rest of it. As the weather was still shitty, all the outdoor activities were out of question. However, some things spiced up the weekend. Like meeting up with an old friend, spilling our life stories, drinking mojitos and partying the whole night. Or like Sunday evening with friends and good food.

I bumped into an old acquaintance in the nightclub. He’s always seemed such a nice person, all smiles and friendly. This time, however, he asked or rather commented quite nastily on me not having a “man in my life”. I don’t remember exactly what he said but it mad me like him quite a bit less than before. That incident, plus, having just finished a book, which in big part was about a woman’s inability to cope with loneliness, got me thinking about my own life……I am not alone – I have great people around me, who love me. I am not lonely – whenever that feeling creeps in, there’s always something to do about it. I am alone in only one sense – there is no significant other in my life right now. And sometimes I feel as if this is something unacceptable or that it makes me less worthy in the eyes of some people.

I know people who are lonely in relationships – together, yet lonely. I have met people who have abandoned their friends or the whole life outside of their relationship, living only for their partner. At some point, most of them start wanting their life back. However good a relationship between 2 people is….2 is just not enough…(remember the movie/book “About a boy”, when the boy says: “I used to think two was not enough. But now things are great; there are loads of people... I don't know what Will was so pissed about. I don't think couples are the future. The way I see it now, we both got back-up now. It's like that thing John Bon Jovi said: 'No man is an island.'”) Think, how true it is – we always need backup! Well, there’s families – they substitute a lot. However, it’s still wise to hold on to some friends who help you fill the void when the kids grow up or the hubbie leaves you (not to be pessimistic, but things happen, right).

Loneliness must be the worst possible punishment anybody can ever think of. Prisoners most dread to be sent into solitary cell. Robinson was happy, when Friday came to him. Tom Hanks made a friend of a friggin volleyball in “Cast away”... I think I’m drifting here a bit... I guess what I really wanna say is that you should always take care of the people around you and let them take care of you.

"Being alone isn’t the worst thing in the world," she said. "But it’s funny, isn’t it," I said, "how it’s always people who aren’t alone, who say that?" - Zoe Heller.

OW & UF

No time to kill…
No time to rest…
No time to play…
No time to chill…
No time to take the time out…

…ok there’s weekend coming up…let’s hope for the best and skip the rest…

The night

Photo by: Mark Cassar
I woke up last night, crying. I cied for half an hour like a child. I hadn't cried like that for years, i think. And i realised there was no one i could call and talk about it. No one, who wouldn't be giving me standard answers. And i realised that people around me (however good friends they are) are too occupied with their own lives.

I wrote it down here because i need to remember that moment...

The tables have turned

I got into a conversation about prostitution the other day. As the guys I was talking to, seemed to know more about the topic, I asked them if there are also male hookers for pleasuring the women in Estonia. They were reckoning that the service probably is available. However, all of them were pretty sure that it’s most likely not very popular, as “girls just have to go to a nightclub and can easily find a guy for a night.” Right… Maybe that used to be the rule…maybe… Here’s how the situation looks like today.

It’s a popular conception that the women in Estonia are beautiful. Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, but the girls do take care of them, keep fit and spend fortunes on clothes and beauty products; they’re also well-educated and if they’re not hard-core babes, I’d say they are mostly a “good catch”. Formerly I have also talked about the shortage of good guys and that if they are equal in value to the girls, they’re usually taken. Put the 2 aspects together and you understand that the pressure of competition is fierce for the women.

This weekend I went out with some friends, we also went to a nightclub. Another friend of mine was there. He’s been back “on market” for about a month or so and there he was, just sitting at the bar, surrounded by a flock of girls (and it’s not an exaggeration – I saw as much as 4 girls), fighting for his attention, all of them gorgeous. This other friend of mine does have a girlfriend but we sometimes go out together and act as each other’s safety net, if the situation demands. The last time we went out, he had as much as 3 pretty straightforward offers for spending the rest of the evening. And this time, again, a girl somehow attached herself to his arm and wanted to share a cab home with us. I’m pretty sure she’d shared the cab also to his home, had he offered it. Now, what do you think? I’d say there are already too many exceptions… and if there are too many exceptions, they form a new rule.