Monday, March 26, 2007

A perfect weekend

Sometimes I contemplate the possibility of moving away from Estonia. But only when I get sick of the whole small-small Estonia phenomenon where everyone knows everyone and everyone’s slept with everyone. Yet, I don’t think I have it in me to move away. I really need my social networks – my family, my friends, my colleagues, all that. (Sorry, S, I know you’re missing all that every day but I have to write about it.)

Last weekend was the kind, which I definitely wouldn’t want to miss. A very entertaining Friday night partying was followed by an even better Saturday. The weather was excellent – sunny and with the perfect spring air – and was just inviting us to enjoy it. So, me and N hit the town and did all the girly stuff. First some shopping, then a brunch at a café, sharing all the last night’s gossip, then some more shopping, some take-away coffee and walking. Very-very chill and relax.

Sunday saw me doing almost all the same things, but this time with A. PM’s birthday present shopping, outdoor café and people watching, checking out the newest and poshest shopping venue etc. And in the evening, welcoming PM to our age group and watching Estonian Superstar together.

Would I be able to give all that up? Probably not for anything less than for big love.

Friday, March 23, 2007

Feel like falling in love?

I am not quite sure if the SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) has hit me this year already. Sure, I’m tired and I feel like sleeping all the time but this has been my condition for a while now, I can feel some apathy, probably just a bit of lethargy, but not so much loss of feelings or mood changes. I am hoping I get away with it slightly more easily this year. Fingers crossed!

However, looking around me and hearing the stories, it seems there’s also a different kind of epidemic spreading. People are breaking up their relationships. Come to think of it, may be it is somewhat connected to SAD (loss of feelings, apathy etc). Last weekend I heard about 3 couples breaking up in my circle of friends and acquaintances and at least one on the verge of it. Is it something like a thorough spring cleaning? Getting rid of all the old stuff you think you don’t need any more? I wonder if there’s any statistics about when couples break up most. I have a feeling it happens more in spring and also around January 1st.

As far as I understand spring is also the time of falling in love and finding boy/girlfriends. So, is it the same people who have just broken up or totally different lot? Or both of them? And when does that falling in love period start? When the SAD time is over and we’ve successfully passed the “loss of feeling” age?

When was the last time you were in love?

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

When should I have kids?

I don’t want kids. Not yet. I love kids but I don’t want one of my own just yet. You know, when you are around people with small children you sometimes get this “awwww” sensation because kids can be so adorable. Also, when the closest people around you start having kids, it spreads like a “disease” (and I mean that in the best possible sense) and suddenly all the girls from one circle of friends are expecting, in labour or happy young mothers of the little ones. My closest circle is not having babies. It’s not that we’re all very career-oriented girls, I think it’s more just matter of coincidences and how you life develops. And I think we’re still girls, not women.

Lately some of the people I know but don’t see on a daily basis, have been having babies. I hear about them and I read their blogs and it really does not generate the desire to be a mum myself. I mean, should it? Should I already have the urge to be living through “the happiest time in a woman’s life”, to have the “most natural instinct in the world”?

For my consolation I hear that the average age of having your first child is increasing each year. It’s about 25 in Estonia and 28 in European Union. And of course, if we take a look at Hollywood, the trend is definitely to have kids as late as possible – take Salma Hayek, she’s 40 and pregnant now; Julia Roberts is 39 and expecting, she had her first pair of twins at 37 I think; Naomi Watts, 38 and pregnant and so on. And don’t even come asking me why am I comparing myself to Hollywood, I mean, why shouldn’t I:)?

Monday, March 12, 2007

Doesn't matter

Last Thursday I was driving with two guys from Tallinn to Tartu. Those 2 are as straight as arrow but somehow we got talking about gays and their lifestyle. Amongst other things I told them that, as I’ve heard gays are often really not into monogamy and that they tend to use the opportunities that life offers them. One of the guys was silent for a moment and then said: “Not much different from the straight guys, then, are they?”
Guess it’s only the women who’d like to think differently about the straight guys…

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

I think i'm growing up

I knew it the moment I wrote it down, just did not want to admit it. It’s impossible to get 2 good things at once. It goes against my theory of limited happiness. I hate it when I’m right about those things. So, the thing about the 2 “interestings” is that only one of them seems to be following through, and of course it’s the professional and not the personal one. The thing is I will be contributing to a new magazine, coming out this week. I hope they’ll benefit from my vast knowledge of international gossip. No worries, I’m not quitting my current job, just using my hobby for a bit of extra income.

The second thing is that I had a pleasant bumping into situation with someone promisingly interesting but as it turns out, nothing will come out of it after all. However, I realized this in only a week’s time, that’s something! I’m not even feeling bad about it. If anything, I’m glad there are still interesting people out there and I’ve still got it in me to recognize them (though the occasions are as rare to come by as finding the right outfit at last-minute shopping an hour before a party).

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Analyze this

I dreamt that I survived a shipwreck, I was hanging and holding on to some bar really tightly till the ship sank low enough for me to jump in the water and swim to the shore. This morning my arm muscles hurt. The shore, however, was a beach with white sand and blue water and I went straight on to sunbathing.

I also dreamt that I was a teacher taking my 12th grade out to some field trip and had to consult a teenager who had just found out he didn’t make it to the university he wanted and was in despair and pretty sure his life was over.

My dreams are so interesting I pinch from the getting ready time in the morning to catch just a bit more of the dream world.

Friday, March 02, 2007

Almost a socialite

I don’t know how they do it, the celebrities and socialites who party all the time. First of all, how can they keep it up physically and secondly…don’t they get bored at all? I went to 2 parties yesterday – a radio station birthday party and an FHM magazine party – two very different parties but both equally boring. I must also state that I am still surprised of the bad quality of organization of such events. If you can’t do it yourself, for god’s sake, hire somebody to do it for you.

The first party was boring because of the relatively old and too much of a suit & tie crowd. So we lasted about only an hour. The second one had a totally different crowd – younger, stupider and with a lot more bare flesh and make-up. Lots to drink, but nothing non-alcoholic and not much to eat. And no substance matter to hold up the party. When you’re done looking at the local socialites you better have some of your people with you to talk to coz not much entertaining happens.

So, back to the “how they do it” part. If I were to go to these kinds of parties for a couple of weeks or months in a row, I’d probably end up in rehab as well, quite like the Spearses and the Lohans. I’d be drinking just out of sheer boredom. I guess I’m lucky enough to be leading a normal lifestyle, where work happens during daytime and party is for actually having fun and not another social responsibility.