Thursday, April 27, 2006

Heat wave

The last couple of days we’ve been having an unexpected “heat wave” and sunny weather and it’s been wonderful. The good things that come as a direct result or as a byproduct of good weather are (in no particular order):
- people are smiling
- it’s warm enough to wear shoes, stockings and skirts, without freezing your ass off
- grass is getting green
- I can rollerblade again!! (today was the unofficial opening of the season for me – the first 10 km)
- bringing the garbage out is no more a whole “project north pole” with all the necessary preparations
- the mini skirts and motor bikes are back on the streets

One of the byproducts of the first warm rays of sun is of course the inability to think straight and form logical sentences…but hey, thinking is anyway clearly overrated, right:)?

Friday, April 21, 2006


Went to see Crash yesterday. It was good – rough and beautiful at the same time. Really makes you think about things. Who’s really the good guy and who’s the villain? Who’s the coward and who’s the hero? Every action triggers a reaction and every deed has its consequences.

The movie also gave me a new song to listen to…over and over again…

Bird York

In the deep

Thought you had all the answers
to rest your heart upon
but something happens
don’t see it coming, now
you can’t stop yourself
now you’re out there swimming
in the deep

Life keeps tumbling your heart in circles
till you let go
till you shed your pride and you climb to heaven
and you throw yourself off
now you’re out there spinning in the deep

Friday, April 14, 2006

The only way is up...

Whewwww…we’ve done it, we’ve successfully survived the ever-lasting-f*cking-nine-months-long winter and from now on everything is only getting better. The weather (especially the sun) must be the best bit of the good things that are happening, but it’s just the first of the whole list.

Thanks to the wonderful blog world i managed to pin down the "disease" that's been bothering me. Turns out it's just really SAD...(as in - not funny:)
S.A.D. means 'seasonal affective disorder', a type of winter depression that affects half a million people every winter between September and April. (Lethargy, overeating, apathy, loss of feelings, anxiety, mood changes, vulnerability to infections and viruses). (I found it here). But hey…I can already feel that it’s almost gone.

So, there’s the spring weather and the sun, there’s the recovering from SAD…and there’s the great holiday to look forward to. I’ve bought my tickets to Barcelona for 2 wonderful weeks in Spain in June (Ruth, honey, be prepared and get the cherries ready, the cherry-sensation girls are coming;)

Oh, not to forget…I went out yesterday, had a wonderful time and ended up dancing and afterwards having a late after-party drink and 3dimensional philosophical conversation with a group of 7 (or were there 8...hmm) guys. Ain't that a snow white situation:)? See, it takes just the small things to make a girl feel special. So, that was no. 4 on the list.

And last, but not least… i still have a whole long weekend ahead of me, including some good time at my parents' place, lots of good food, rest and egg painting. Gotta love that!

Thursday, April 06, 2006

The Mask

You start with a shower
(To wash off yesterday)

Then you take a long look in the mirror
(This is decision time)

Then you slowly start putting on the mask

First…the make-up
(For staying strong)

Then…the dress, the high heels and the stockings
(For confidence)

And as the last thing…you put on a smile
(Let the show begin!)

Tuesday, April 04, 2006


Had another one of the regular weekends – partying one night, chilling (sleep-eat-read-sleepsomemore etc) the rest of it. As the weather was still shitty, all the outdoor activities were out of question. However, some things spiced up the weekend. Like meeting up with an old friend, spilling our life stories, drinking mojitos and partying the whole night. Or like Sunday evening with friends and good food.

I bumped into an old acquaintance in the nightclub. He’s always seemed such a nice person, all smiles and friendly. This time, however, he asked or rather commented quite nastily on me not having a “man in my life”. I don’t remember exactly what he said but it mad me like him quite a bit less than before. That incident, plus, having just finished a book, which in big part was about a woman’s inability to cope with loneliness, got me thinking about my own life……I am not alone – I have great people around me, who love me. I am not lonely – whenever that feeling creeps in, there’s always something to do about it. I am alone in only one sense – there is no significant other in my life right now. And sometimes I feel as if this is something unacceptable or that it makes me less worthy in the eyes of some people.

I know people who are lonely in relationships – together, yet lonely. I have met people who have abandoned their friends or the whole life outside of their relationship, living only for their partner. At some point, most of them start wanting their life back. However good a relationship between 2 people is….2 is just not enough…(remember the movie/book “About a boy”, when the boy says: “I used to think two was not enough. But now things are great; there are loads of people... I don't know what Will was so pissed about. I don't think couples are the future. The way I see it now, we both got back-up now. It's like that thing John Bon Jovi said: 'No man is an island.'”) Think, how true it is – we always need backup! Well, there’s families – they substitute a lot. However, it’s still wise to hold on to some friends who help you fill the void when the kids grow up or the hubbie leaves you (not to be pessimistic, but things happen, right).

Loneliness must be the worst possible punishment anybody can ever think of. Prisoners most dread to be sent into solitary cell. Robinson was happy, when Friday came to him. Tom Hanks made a friend of a friggin volleyball in “Cast away”... I think I’m drifting here a bit... I guess what I really wanna say is that you should always take care of the people around you and let them take care of you.

"Being alone isn’t the worst thing in the world," she said. "But it’s funny, isn’t it," I said, "how it’s always people who aren’t alone, who say that?" - Zoe Heller.