Sushi, champagne and tiramisu

This was the menu for yesterday, celebrating A-s birthday. I guess we’ve come a long way in the style of celebration. When we were seven, it was candles on a cake, potato salad and sausages and the parents carefully watching over the party. When we were 17, it was more about getting the parents out of the house and the drinks were more important than the food. Now that we’re 27, it’s cooking fancy meals for our friends or having dinners at restaurants – all about good food and quality drinks. Quite a nice development, I’d say. However, once in a while it’s nice to slip back to being 7 or 17:)

Find 10 differences

Estonian Eurovision entry in 2002

Song authors: Laisaar, Paulus, Kotkas
Song: Runaway
Lyrics: Jana Hallas
Stylist: Jana Hallas
Singer: Swedish girl Sahlene

Estonian Eurovision entry in 2006

Song authors: Laisaar, Paulus, Kotkas
Song: Through my window
Lyrics: Jana Hallas
Stylist: Jana Hallas
Singer: Swedish girl Sandra


The songs sound very…I mean VERY similar (I guess it figures, considering the authors), they’ve chosen another unknown pretty Swedish girl to sing it, the simplicity of the lyrics is strikingly similar, the clothes’ style of the singer – asymmetric dress with a metal belt etc – almost exactly the same. People, people, the last try was 4 years ago, I really expected some development, some (any) changes…Maybe I should look at it from a more positive point of view – there are things in life that never change – kind of gives you the feeling of stability:)

(Thanks to all my friends who helped along in discovering the similarities, though I could have done it alone as well, I mean, a 5-year-old could have done it:)

Road trip

This weekend took me to southern part of Estonia and without really planning it this way, it kind of turned out to be a road trip through my beautiful country. In a way we made a whole loop – taking one way from north to south, cruising around a bit and taking another road back (Tallinn-Tartu-Otepää-Kuutsemäe-Tõrva- Viljandi-Tallinn).
(For the ones wondering how is this possible in one weekend…better take a look on the map to see the size of Estonia:) I had another realization of why I haven’t left Estonia to go live somewhere else….even if I say so myself, the nature here is absolutely gorgeous. The population density being as small as it is you can drive on the smaller roads for the whole morning and see only a couple of random cars, or none at all. You can see miles and miles of untouched snow on the fields and forests with big trees covered with snow. You can pull over, run on the fields and make a snow angel…I think I should get out of town more:)
Another thing is that Estonia is filled with weirdly named places. On this trip alone we came across Mõru (Bitter), Mõnnaste (sth like Pleasantville? or Comfytown), we even found Kabala (welcome Madonna and the rest of the followers!). Formerly I’ve also been to places called Muusika ( Music), Kohatu (Noplace), Tapa (Kill), Ihamaru (Luststorm), Põrgu (Hell), lots and lots of places ending with …vere (blood)….gotta love my country:)

Indulge myself

Today I gave muself
A late birthday present.
It’s small.
It fits in my palm.
It’s a key.
To my new home.
Which is small.
And beautiful.
And yes. You are welcome.

And they told my mum...

Year: 1979
Date: January 22nd
Time: 11:20

"Congratulations! It's a girl!"

Freezing point

The picture says it all... i guess. Just a few more facts for the ones out there who have never experienced this kind of cold. Well, water freezes at 0°C! Yesterday a teardrop froze on my cheek. If you keep your eyes open for too long the eyeballs probably freeze. If you inhale too fast...ok i don't know what happens, but you gotta be careful, maybe the little moisture particles in your lungs crystallize. Anyways, it's smarter to stay inside!:) and if that is impossible, wear everything you find in your closet and do not forget warm underwear...

Edit: Today it's -27°C...

Are you trendy?

Still about a generation ago, when our parents were in dating age, it was a common dating rule that the guy had to be at least a couple of years older than the girl. My father, for instance, is 6 years older than my mother. When both were the same age, they could still get away with it. God forbid if the woman was a couple or more years older, then there was talk about it. And there were phrases like... “You know that Mr. X, the one from the Y street, the one that married an “older” woman.”

If we look further back, say a few more generations – the age difference was often even bigger. Marriages (sometimes arranged) between older men and younger women were a common thing. It had a lot to do with the older man being already able to take care of the woman and the subsequent family, I think. It’s something that has been rooted in the society pretty heavily. Also, when talking of the extremes – like 15 or 20 years of age difference, it is more common to find “older man-young woman” couples and rarely vice versa. (And as N very wisely pointed out today, that is not a very good combination. Older man marries younger woman, but he turns old and dies and the wife, often with fairly young children, is left alone.)

However, circumstances seem to be changing, which they very well ought to be. Not only are there more extremes the other way round (Demi Moore & Ashton Kutcher, to name one), there are also increasingly more situations where a man’s a couple of years younger than the woman and that doesn’t seem to be such an issue any more. It’s noticeable reading the magazines and also simply taking a look around. Good friend of mine has a younger boyfriend, her brother’s girlfriend is a couple of years older than he. In the recent years most of my dates have been younger than me. The youngest potential date was as much as 8 years younger than me. The aforementioned good friend’s mum has a colleague, a man of 26 years, who’s partner is 30 and he simply put it this way: “It’s a new trend, didn’t you know it? Everybody’s doin it.”

Happy Birthday N!

Yipii! It's N's birthday! That means celebrating with Pina Coladas tonight...

Happy Birthday darling! You're almost a woman now;)

Lovin

“I need some lovin today, babe…” a guy told me the other day.
“I need some lovin every day…” was what I said.
“I need sex every day…lovin, once in a while” was his answer.

I guess that pretty much sums it up. For me it’s possible to live without sex for fairly long period of time. But I need some kind of lovin every day.

“Human beings are designed for many things. Loneliness is not one of them.” (a quote by…I don’t remember who, sorry)

Butterflies

I have always been a confident believer in butterflies. And I don’t mean the actual beautifully coloured flying insects but the ones, which awake in your stomach whenever you’re in an exciting situation or near to the person you fancy. I usually let the butterflies decide if there’s any future with certain representatives of opposite sex.

Sometimes it takes only an instant for the butterflies to become alert, but there are also cases when it takes a couple of days in order to see the charm of the other person. In my life a couple of strongest affections have developed that way. You see the person but don’t REALLY notice him, let alone consider him as a potential partner. Then you see more of him and have a chance to talk to him and suddenly you discover you act differently in his presence and realize that they’ve arrived, the butterflies. And suddenly you cannot understand how you didn’t notice him before, when he seems to be the most attractive man in the world, and you cannot keep your hands off him.

And then there are situations, when a man is perfectly good “partner material” – nice and good-looking and easy to talk to and so on and so on – and then you take your time to get to know each other a little bit better and everything seems ok…if only the butterflies were there. You might continue the research but the truth is … there is not much point.

So, I have always believed and trusted my butterflies but lately I’ve been thinking that maybe they are not so trustworthy as they let me believe. I still trust there’s no future between 2 people if the butterflies are not there… that’s a given. But… what if my butterflies are a bit …you know…daft. Or maybe they’re teaming up against me… For why do they only appear in the most inappropriate situations – mostly when I either can never have anything with that person or when he would be terribly wrong for me. Is there a place to take your butterflies for a check-up and if needed – a treatment?

Skiing World Cup

This is what i was up to this weekend...

2005 vs 2006

New Year’s eve 2005 vs 2006 was turning out to be absolutely plan free until we decided it was up to our humble selves to do sth about it. So, on 29th of December, during an intense msn conference with 5 people we managed to get the place, develop the theme, divide the assignments and start organizing. Whenever planning something… it’s always worth to go the extra mile and throw a great party… even if it is for only 6 people.

“The Place” was an almost empty flat, previously inhabited by N, her brother and the rest of their family, but now sold to a new owner. N’s mum negotiated with the new owners and managed to get another night for the kids to have a final party. She must be either a really good negotiator, or the new owner is a real bona fide purchaser.

“The theme” was “Trip around the world” (for the more sexually perverse readers, no…not what you think) – so we had an African room, a Cuban room and an Egyptian room. Imagine a new year’s eve when you can sit under a palm tree and sip a pina colada, then move on to cigars and mojitos in Cuba and finally chill in Egypt, smoking a waterpipe…

As the theme demanded, we were all supposed to be dressed up representing different nationalities of the world. I was the Cuban lady…well, sort of, considering I’m light-skinned and blonde… but I tried, N was an African lady – her skin colour doesn’t measure up either but at least the attire was appropriate. And what do we say about the rest of the company if 2 of them show up as green cats, one as Austin Powers and another one first as a wolfe with the face of a bear which looked like a dog and later as a hangman…I guess we say the world really is colourful:)
Anyways, we had an excellent time and for the future reference…you can turn to us if you wish to have your place decorated for a party with all the necessary accessories and equipment. We are especially qualified in Cuba, Africa and Egypt, but willing to take on whatever new challenge…

My wonderful year 2005

As seen in some blogs lately, people like to conclude their year and talk about what’s been up. Why should I be any different. It turns out there was more going on than I ever remembered. I traveled more than I remember, I met many new people who were worth meeting. There were many work-related things too but i will not talk about work, let’s just say that professionally it was a good year.

January: went to Canary Islands, managing to sneak away for my birthday; T left the country
February: MM back to picture
March: MM out of the picture
April: went to London and saw the Kylie Minogue show
May: went to St Petersburg, met A and A
June: went to Hiiumaa for Jaanipäev with one of the aforementioned A-s, met M
July: organized and took part in wonderful Summer University, which took me to Riga; met Nk and R and Y
August: went to company summer-days, met VK
September: went to Slovenia for vacation and spent the best time with Nk and R, met P
October: V and another A in the picture
November: bought Robbie Williams tickets; went to Egypt and did my first diving; met O
December: had a great Christmas time…and the stories of new-year’s party are yet to come….

My 2 families

This Christmas I realized I have 2 families. First is my traditional “real” family – mum, dad, sister, brother – 5 altogether. I spent the long Christmas weekend with them. We’re all a bit crazy, we argue and we fight but we enjoy being together and we’re happy that we’re all doing ok. They need me around once in a while and I need them. So we celebrated the holidays, ate a lot and exchanged presents, I got 4:)

My second family are my friends. If I take the closest circle of them – A, N, S and PM – there’s also 5 of us altogether. Some of them see me far more often than my first family, since we do live in the same city and/or work or live together. So, with them we had the “family dinner” a couple of days ago in a Russian restaurant and we had the best time – we ate, drank vodka (discovering only later, when the bill arrived, that the vodka shots were all double), reminisced and just had fun. And, I got 4 presents:)

Gotta love my 2 families! They are the best!

Yep, it's holiday season...

Photo by: N

The holiday season is especially visible and discernible in our office. The picture above is only one of the examples of the (almost) hundreds of gifts sent this week.

I like the idea of thanking your clients and partners for a successful year together. We do it as well. But let’s face it, most of them send candies or even worse – cakes. We have 13 people working here…how much should we be able to eat?….within couple of days! And, in any case, at least go the extra mile and think of something a bit more original, not go to the store, buy a random cake and print your logo on a box.

So what do we do with all the cakes? This year we decided to give some of them (as we still do eat some by ourselves:) to where they’re more appreciated – to a shelter house. They happy, we happy:) This is also one of the precautions to take in order not to gain 5 kilos:)

Happy holidays!

Xmas peace?…not for me!

So I’m busy… I guess that is pretty obvious by now. Sometimes there’s so much to do that I wish somebody would take away some responsibilities and take care of them…for me.

Firstly, there’s work – no peaceful Christmas time for us, as for all the clients we have to sum up the year (which means 3-5 hour meetings) and already plan ahead the next year (which means a lot of work creating media strategies and helping them plan their budgets). Not so surprisingly, all of them want all of that at basically the same time…

Secondly, there’s still the ongoing project of finding a new home. I will not even go into this matter… too frustrating. When I finally have success…then I’ll let everybody know.

Thirdly….i have taken up moviemaking:) You know, actually filming and editing the material. Necessity brought on the need to learn it but it turns out to be really cool. I am, by all means, an amateur, so don’t come asking for wedding or birthday movies. I do it only for myself (or for some really-really good friends:)

Fourthly, let’s not forget that this time of year is densely filled with various parties and other kind of social gatherings, which need attending. Plus there’s the dating life which somehow still keeps itself active.

And last, but not least, there’s the enforced shopping activity – I love giving presents to my loved ones but finding them is a serious pain in the ass.

First times

There have been a few…Come to think of it, in everybody’s lives there’s almost innumerable quantity of first times. Everything that you do and have ever done…has once been a first-time experience…There are some first times, which are nice and pleasant, the others less so but in most of the cases, the ones that we choose to remember, are at least the interesting ones. Here’s my list of memorable first times… in no particular order, as the experiences in itself are pretty much incomparable …and may I add, the list is under construction…for I tend to “firsttime” more things on a daily basis:) (these are the ones I remembered now)

…first kiss – I mean a real one, with a bit of tongue and touching and so on – that was nice. Surprisingly enough it came very naturally and was pleasant without any former practice. And it was special for me, for it was at a new year’s party.
…first time standing up and walking on your own 2 feet, and I mean literally – this one I don’t remember of course, for I was about one year old, but I wish I would, because I’m sure it felt wonderful and liberating.
…"the first time" – by this I mean sex, naturally. That was nice too. I am not one of the people who can say that it was absolutely great and that it didn’t hurt a bit and so on, but I was old enough to know that it was just the beginning and from there on it was only going to get better.
…first time having your heart broken – that sucked big time. This is something to wish for your worst enemy…if you can actually hate anybody that much. It hurt a lot. And even with all the reasoning and practical thinking, it felt like the end of the world and made me ponder about the meaning of life. And it took a lot of time to get over it…and deep down, I’m not sure if you ever can get over it 100%.
…first time standing on your own 2 feet – figuratively speaking:). Moving away from my parents, to another city, getting a job, living in a crappy little place for a while – that was a bit scary. I knew I’d manage, and I did but there were a couple of nightmares and a bit of fear but it passed really fast.
…first time feeling competent and confident at your job. I think I’ve always been pretty self-confident and it has helped me a lot, but at times I also hide the insecurities. I think it took around 2 years to actually have the feeling of justified confidence – to feel competent and know that you actually are. And that felt great.
…first time losing somebody and facing the concept of mortality. I was in my teenage years when my grandparents started to pass away – one after the other with not so long intervals. They were old and it was a natural thing but it still hurt a lot. And it still does when I think of them and think of the good times and think of how much more I would have liked to talk to them and ask them about their lives – had I only known the right questions already back then…
…first bad hangover – that was after my high school graduation party…I felt awfully bad, the colour of my face was grayish-green, I wanted to lay down and just die but instead I had to be sociable and talk to some relatives, plus go to shops to buy myself a present.... And because of that hangover and up to present day I have still not reconciled with martini, even though it was not the only guilty one.

I guess there are more I could write about but as these are the first ones that came to my mind, they must be the more important ones… now… what I am interested in, is… which are yours??

Moments

Sometimes I get what I want. You know, I go after it and get it. At times it’s because I think I choose to want the things I believe I can get. And at times it means facing challenges. The difficulty of the challenge is very hard to predict, but the harder it is, the more rewarding it is to overcome it.

Now, getting what you want is like a double-edged sword. First the good feeling of success is satisfactory and you end up feeling content or even happy for a while. But then…you start wanting more. Suddenly one happy moment or day is not enough and you want the bliss to continue. I guess it applies in most of the situations – you get a raise and are happy with your new salary but soon you discover you start needing more money…or you think you’d be absolutely happy to have a week of holiday but when it’s over you want more…or you think you’d be the happiest person on planet to find your own flat but should you finally get it you probably also need a car…or like in the songs people say that they could die for only one night with somebody special…when in reality, they also want more.

Why is it that we want so much more all the time? I wish I had the ability to want less, to be able to cherish the moments of happiness…but I don’t think this is something that can be learned, is it?

“Considering the way the world is, one happy day is almost a miracle.” Coelho

Egypt reloaded

The holiday week passed as an instant …but like an instant packed of emotions and energy and events…(what’s up with the E-words?:) The actual sequence of the events is probably not so important, so I just write about the most important keywords…(all the rest – the partying, lots of fun, the local shopping/bargaining etc – is a given).

The Sun

Coming from freezing cold Estonia and being greeted by the warm Egyptian sun feels absolutely rewarding. Being able to go through a whole week baretoed, wear sunglasses and summerdresses and actually get a suntan and freckles…all that in the middle of winter is scarce.

The Red sea Been there, seen all that before, and yet, every time I put my mask on and my face into the water, it amazes me - the beauty, the colours, the perfect visibility. The water is always around 25 degrees C and when you swim virtually amidst all the colourful fish and corals, you feel like you’re in a big aquarium.

My first time diving

So I did it, the diving intro. To be honest, I thought I’d hate it. You know, did it just to prove I’ve done it…But guess what, I loved it. Before going in I had the butterflies of somewhat scary excitement. First there was the feeling of discomfort because of the pressure in the ears…well, it’s a bit of an understatment, as it felt like my head was gonna burst, but once I got the stabilizing working …oh my god, the feeling of weightlessness and the 3D sensation, the fish, the water, looking up and seeing sun high above through the water…so, when I got out the butterflies were even stronger but this time, of pure excitement. I guess it helped that I had the best instructor ever (not that I’ve met many:) because in this business, when you are offering people the chance of such an amazing “first-time-sensation”, you gotta be professional and calm and love the job yourself.

My first time climbing the Moses mountain

Now here’s something different. Imagine climbing a mountain in total darkness, road lit only by torches, at 2 o’clock at night, 3 hours, 6 kilometers, 1,5 km in height, and the further up you reach, the colder it gets. And once you get up there – cold, exhausted and start waiting for the sunrise…well, I believe you’re already able to actually SEE Moses:) But the sunrise was worth it, moreover, the “hero” feeling you get was worth it.

Shukran, my friends, it was wonderful

Photo by: Liina

My holiday’s over and finally I have had my 13-hour long sleep to recover from “the holiday”:) It still amazes me how many experiences and emotions and events you can fit in one week, when in “normal life” the week could pass by, almost unnoticed. I had lots of fun, sun, sea, parties, good food, met some great new people and had at least 2 or 3 “did-it-for-the-first-time” experiences. (hmmm…I think I have to write a longer post about the “first times”, as it is an interesting topic.)