Monday, December 12, 2005

First times

There have been a few…Come to think of it, in everybody’s lives there’s almost innumerable quantity of first times. Everything that you do and have ever done…has once been a first-time experience…There are some first times, which are nice and pleasant, the others less so but in most of the cases, the ones that we choose to remember, are at least the interesting ones. Here’s my list of memorable first times… in no particular order, as the experiences in itself are pretty much incomparable …and may I add, the list is under construction…for I tend to “firsttime” more things on a daily basis:) (these are the ones I remembered now)

first kiss – I mean a real one, with a bit of tongue and touching and so on – that was nice. Surprisingly enough it came very naturally and was pleasant without any former practice. And it was special for me, for it was at a new year’s party.
first time standing up and walking on your own 2 feet, and I mean literally – this one I don’t remember of course, for I was about one year old, but I wish I would, because I’m sure it felt wonderful and liberating.
…"the first time" – by this I mean sex, naturally. That was nice too. I am not one of the people who can say that it was absolutely great and that it didn’t hurt a bit and so on, but I was old enough to know that it was just the beginning and from there on it was only going to get better.
first time having your heart broken – that sucked big time. This is something to wish for your worst enemy…if you can actually hate anybody that much. It hurt a lot. And even with all the reasoning and practical thinking, it felt like the end of the world and made me ponder about the meaning of life. And it took a lot of time to get over it…and deep down, I’m not sure if you ever can get over it 100%.
first time standing on your own 2 feet – figuratively speaking:). Moving away from my parents, to another city, getting a job, living in a crappy little place for a while – that was a bit scary. I knew I’d manage, and I did but there were a couple of nightmares and a bit of fear but it passed really fast.
first time feeling competent and confident at your job. I think I’ve always been pretty self-confident and it has helped me a lot, but at times I also hide the insecurities. I think it took around 2 years to actually have the feeling of justified confidence – to feel competent and know that you actually are. And that felt great.
first time losing somebody and facing the concept of mortality. I was in my teenage years when my grandparents started to pass away – one after the other with not so long intervals. They were old and it was a natural thing but it still hurt a lot. And it still does when I think of them and think of the good times and think of how much more I would have liked to talk to them and ask them about their lives – had I only known the right questions already back then…
first bad hangover – that was after my high school graduation party…I felt awfully bad, the colour of my face was grayish-green, I wanted to lay down and just die but instead I had to be sociable and talk to some relatives, plus go to shops to buy myself a present.... And because of that hangover and up to present day I have still not reconciled with martini, even though it was not the only guilty one.

I guess there are more I could write about but as these are the first ones that came to my mind, they must be the more important ones… now… what I am interested in, is… which are yours??

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