Doesn't matter

Last Thursday I was driving with two guys from Tallinn to Tartu. Those 2 are as straight as arrow but somehow we got talking about gays and their lifestyle. Amongst other things I told them that, as I’ve heard gays are often really not into monogamy and that they tend to use the opportunities that life offers them. One of the guys was silent for a moment and then said: “Not much different from the straight guys, then, are they?”
Guess it’s only the women who’d like to think differently about the straight guys…

I think i'm growing up

I knew it the moment I wrote it down, just did not want to admit it. It’s impossible to get 2 good things at once. It goes against my theory of limited happiness. I hate it when I’m right about those things. So, the thing about the 2 “interestings” is that only one of them seems to be following through, and of course it’s the professional and not the personal one. The thing is I will be contributing to a new magazine, coming out this week. I hope they’ll benefit from my vast knowledge of international gossip. No worries, I’m not quitting my current job, just using my hobby for a bit of extra income.

The second thing is that I had a pleasant bumping into situation with someone promisingly interesting but as it turns out, nothing will come out of it after all. However, I realized this in only a week’s time, that’s something! I’m not even feeling bad about it. If anything, I’m glad there are still interesting people out there and I’ve still got it in me to recognize them (though the occasions are as rare to come by as finding the right outfit at last-minute shopping an hour before a party).

Analyze this

I dreamt that I survived a shipwreck, I was hanging and holding on to some bar really tightly till the ship sank low enough for me to jump in the water and swim to the shore. This morning my arm muscles hurt. The shore, however, was a beach with white sand and blue water and I went straight on to sunbathing.

I also dreamt that I was a teacher taking my 12th grade out to some field trip and had to consult a teenager who had just found out he didn’t make it to the university he wanted and was in despair and pretty sure his life was over.

My dreams are so interesting I pinch from the getting ready time in the morning to catch just a bit more of the dream world.

Almost a socialite

I don’t know how they do it, the celebrities and socialites who party all the time. First of all, how can they keep it up physically and secondly…don’t they get bored at all? I went to 2 parties yesterday – a radio station birthday party and an FHM magazine party – two very different parties but both equally boring. I must also state that I am still surprised of the bad quality of organization of such events. If you can’t do it yourself, for god’s sake, hire somebody to do it for you.

The first party was boring because of the relatively old and too much of a suit & tie crowd. So we lasted about only an hour. The second one had a totally different crowd – younger, stupider and with a lot more bare flesh and make-up. Lots to drink, but nothing non-alcoholic and not much to eat. And no substance matter to hold up the party. When you’re done looking at the local socialites you better have some of your people with you to talk to coz not much entertaining happens.

So, back to the “how they do it” part. If I were to go to these kinds of parties for a couple of weeks or months in a row, I’d probably end up in rehab as well, quite like the Spearses and the Lohans. I’d be drinking just out of sheer boredom. I guess I’m lucky enough to be leading a normal lifestyle, where work happens during daytime and party is for actually having fun and not another social responsibility.

Interestings

Sometimes interesting things happen when you bother to help along a little and push good ideas. And sometimes interesting meetings take place in the most unlikely places and situations when you least expect them. Friday was a day for both kind of “interestings”. In best case scenario I will have something to write about in future in regards of both of them. But right now, let’s just say that, firstly, reading Oscar gossip is not only for pleasure any more and, secondly, that my Saturday afternoon offered me a lot more interesting entertainment than tidying up my home.

DJ Shadow - This time

This song has been one of my favourites for a couple of weeks now. It’s a great song with great lyrics and even more ingenious is that the video was chosen from the competition entries.
There must have been hundreds of entries. Here’s just a few for you to look at. I think the first one is the official chosen one. My favourite, however, is the second one – genial…and hilarious:)

Link one

Link two

Link three

Link four

Link five

This Time (I’m Gonna Try It My Way)

In the beginning, well, I didn’t know

As time passed on still didn’t know

I didn’t know

But this time, this time

I’m gonna try it my way

I’m gonna live life my way

This time, this time

I’m gonna try it my way

I’m gonna live life my way

Well, I didn’t know, just couldn’t see

The memories of past failures

Like a shadow haunting me

But this time, this time

I’m gonna try it my way

I’m gonna try it my way

Yeah this time, this time

I’m gonna try it my way

I’m gonna live life my way

There was a dream

I wanted to come true

But dreams

You know they need to be followed through

That’s why this time, this time

I’m gonna try it my way

I’m gonna try it my way

Yeah this time, Oh, this time

I’m gonna try it my way

I’m gonna live life my way

Tallinn-Tartu express

Last weekend I tried a new way of passing the irritably long distance between Tallinn and Tartu. I tookthe train! First class, of course. I never fly first class, so I thought at least I can afford first class in train. And, well, second class was all sold out already. Now, the pros compared to the bus.
First, more room – more leg room as well as the possibility of standing up and walking around. Even if I didn’t use the possibility I felt very content of knowing I could do so anytime:)
Second, internet access – for some reason it wasn’t working that time, but again, in theory, there’s the possibility:)
Third, power outlet for charging my laptop. Its battery is getting empty so fast these days, so in train I can just plug it in and watch movies.
Fourth, for some strange reason I can’t read in the bus but can do so in train.
Fifth, free tea or coffee. Yippii!
Sixth, you can buy food if you’re hungry. You can actually stand up, go to the “bar” and buy a sandwich. And, you can buy drinks as well, even alcohol is on the menu, which is not allowed in the bus.
Seventh, the train station is way closer to my home and this is definitely a winning reason, considering the taxi fares these days.

I think I’m gonna give the train thing another try the next time I go to Tartu.

Mika – Life in cartoon motion

Saturday was a happy day for me. There was a little package in my post box. Only 5 days after its release date, HMV managed to deliver MIKA’s debut album “Life in cartoon motion”. I suspect some of you do not know Mika, some of you know him from my previous introductory post and some of you are fans like me.

Mika must really be getting tired of all the comparisons to Scissor Sisters and Freddie Mercury but what can we do if it’s true. It must be his vocal range from low to extremely high, which prompts those comparisons. There’s a bit of Freddie in all of the songs and the most Scissors-like are probably “Love Today” and “Stuck in the middle”. By now I’m already done listening to the previously released “Grace Kelly” and “Relax”, so my 2 new favourites from the album are firstly, the ballad-like “Happy ending” which ends with an opera-like section where you can hear that he’s had classical voice schooling; and secondly the disco-dance-pop-like “Ring, ring” (hidden bonus track), which must be using a sample of an old eighties or nineties song, I just can’t figure out, which one.

I’ve bought records because of only one song and I usually feel I’ve done a good deal when I can love 3 songs on an album. In case of “Life in cartoon motion” I could love at least 5 to 6 songs. 5 out of 11 is undoubtedly a good deal.

You may or may not like Mika’s music but you should at least give it a try or you may be missing out on witnessing a star being born. He has written all the songs on the album, including the lyrics, he plays piano or percussion on many of the tracks and he’s done the artwork of the album book. Talent really transfers to different areas.

Here's for you to listen: Mika "Ring Ring"

Change is good

I had to change the looks of my blog. This one is rather boring and not exactly as i like it but the previous one was melting together and several of its functions stopped working. Before i come up with a new one, we're all stuck with this one. Stick with me!

Smell of scent

Have you noticed that with really cold weather, like we’re having currently, your scent smell gets fainter. Why is that? Or, why does smokers’ scent smell weaken? How come some people don’t realize they have a very strong body odor? Why is dogs’ sense of smell so much better? Why is it possible to eat or drink something disgusting with your nostrils closed? Some of those questions have been answered here. Like for instance I found out that dogs in general have a nose approximately a hundred thousand to a million times more sensitive than a human's, because humans have about 2*4 cm² of olfactory epithelium, whereas some dogs have 150 cm². I also found that not all humans can smell andostenone, a component of male sweat (and minor component of female one). And so on.

Smells play an important role in my life, I think my scent memory is the strongest and most lasting one all senses. Just one whiff of aroma can bring back memories and trigger emotions. I was once sniffing a friend of mine the whole evening long because he smelled like someone important from my past. I have followed a man on the street because he was smoking a pipe. I think my olfactory sensory neurons are more sensitive than several other people’s. That gives me the beautiful world of smells but also makes me more sensitive to the smells that do not suit me.

However, there are loads of scents I absolutely adore, like:

freshly sliced cucumber
cherry tobacco pipe
sautéing onion for cooking
freshly washed bed linen
roses
freshly washed hair
bread
fresh coffee
oranges
man
forest in autumn
coco
wild strawberries
nail polish remover
fresh wood
chokecherry tree
lilac
freshly cut lawn
christmas tree
baking apple cake
basil

Add your favs.

Feelin better

Photo: N

Being sick sucks. Sucks sick. Anyhow, I’m almost well now. But meanwhile I did not have any inspiration to write here. Yesterday night I couldn’t sleep so I wrote sth but it’s not for public display. So I still got zero material:)

I could write about the last trip to London, of course. However, since it was more than a week ago, it now seems I could just jot it down in couple of sentences. Seeing S and J again was great, shopping was satisfactory and Portobello lovely, again. Ooh, Lovely London! Oh, and stand-up comedy was way better than I expected. Must see again.

I could also write about the Estonian Eurovision entry but this year I really cared so little I almost passed out. In the words of a 13-year old: Waddeva!

However, there is one topic I could write about that I thought of this weekend but I’m not sure how to make it presentable here. I’m workin on it.

A year older, none wiser

So much to write and so little time… But, before new emotions take over, I have to note down that there was a little birthday celebration of myself and N. The celebration was with very limited guest list, as the venue, my home, is rather small. That means there were 20 or so people, a disco ball, and 2 beauty queens for the evening. I promised a total makeover but since I can’t afford any plastic surgery (and don’t need any:) I went for changing my hair style – changed the cut as well as the color. For more information, ask for the pics. Coz I really don’t have time to write:)

Popopidoo...

...happy birthday to me:)!

Life in movie motion

This thing is getting worse by days, the thing that I confuse dream life and real life. Last Friday the whole night passed as a movie or a music video or a dream, if you like. I don’t know your dreams, but mine are quite like movies or videos or sometimes very much like real life. The whole night I felt as if things and people happened to me and I didn’t have much say in it. We started off at A’s place (I know you’re trying to figure out which A, don’t even bother, there’s too many:), celebrating his birthday. The dress code was “black, with colourful accessories”, very chic. And at some point we were off to conquer the night clubs. BB was on the list, again. This time, however, I saw many people I hadn’t seen for a while, which was a surprise. The night was long and full of chatting, dancing, listening to drunken theories of life and how it sucks, dancing, flirting and chatting some more. Later that night me and some friends ended up at a semi-celebrity’s boyfriend’s house. Really, everything was just happening as in a David Lynch movie. Well, may-be not quite that spooky. Maybe, as in a Tarantino movie. At 8 o’clock am I was standing outside the house, in this little garden-city, with my red shoes, on a freshly fallen snow, waiting for a taxi to finally take me home so I could sleep.

In David Lynche’s “Lost Highway” there’s this scene, where they enter the party and a song is playing. I love that scene and I love the song. Listen to it here: Barry Adamson “Something Wicked this Way Comes”

Mantra

Mantra-mantra-mantra-mantra.....

The ones who know, what mantra means for me, know that i must be having a real s***y day. Or actually, 2 of those kinds of days already.

Breathe in, breathe out....Yehhuia....it'll be better....for sure

New haircut?

When we were little, my sister and I, we were not the cute little girls you expect the daughters to be. We were more like little boys, running around, climbing trees and always up for some mischief. It was probably because we got used to being on our own from early on, when spending the summers at grandparents’. On top of everything, we looked like boys, because our mum always had our hair cut short. The only reason I tolerated it was coz I really, really liked going to the hairdressers. We were quite different in looks, she having this really thick dark hair and me with my thin and fair baby hair.

Throughout the adult years we’ve experimented with the hair color but always kept it on a longer side. At some point I’ve even been a red-head but for many years now, I’ve stuck to blonde. My sis has tried red, for a long while accented her natural dark hair color and also went for blonde a couple of years ago. When I think about changing my hair, it’s mostly in the range of maybe trying shading or cutting it a bit, maybe consider cutting a fringe. She however, has made the most drastic change a girl can make, she cut her hair off completely! What possessed her, I have no idea! I could never do that! It looks a lot better than I expected, actually. But I still hope she’ll let it grow from now on:)

Theory of limited happiness

What if happiness is limited…have you ever wondered? I’ve got this theory and I’ve elaborated on it a bit with N and S. Think along with me for a second. Say we take our life apart into different categories and start ticking. If all’s fine in the category, you tick it. Check!

Ok, first there’s love – having someone to care for and who cares for you. Or if you do choose the single life, at least have enough of the single life’s benefits;) Then there’s people around you – friends and family – people with whom you can have fun together but who also stick around when you’re going through a rough patch. Then there’s health, of course – you get a tick if you’re doing fairly well physically and mentally, because let’s face it, none of us is 100% healthy, whoever thinks that, already has a bit of a mental problem:) Fourth is job or studies or whatever it is you’re filling your days with. If an adult spends approximately 70% of the whole awake time, on their job, it should at least be something they don’t absolutely dislike. And last, but not least, there’s the material aspect of life. Do you have what you need for your life? Some need more than others but it is a question of perception. If you think you’re doing ok and have enough, and that you can allow yourself things you need, you can tick this category.

And this, my friends, is it. How many did you tick. I don’t even need to know, which ones, though, it’s rather individual, which category you consider more important for happiness. In any case, my theory is that normally people don’t get a full score. The elaboration of the theory is that this whole happiness business is periodical. There may be periods when suddenly your life’s great in all aspects, or vice versa. However, it does not change the whole theory.

You may argue, of course, that there are some lucky bastards who keep on having good luck all the time. But remember, there are also the ones who are cursed with constant bad luck. So I think they exist outside the theory and balance each other out. That means the “normal” people live the theory. Take a look at your own life or at the lives of people around you. Sometimes you look at someone and think: “He’s really got it all! He must be so happy!” But often looks can be deceiving and beneath the surface, those people’s lives aren’t perfect either. I think if you already get a solid four out of five, you should be doing ok, because you can work on the one category you’re failing in. With three, you’ve still got hope, coz working on 2 categories is also not unthinkable. When you only get 1 or 2…well, you’re kind of f****d. I suggest you first go back to the beginning of the test and re-evaluate your answers, maybe you’re being too picky and don’t appreciate what you have. Or, if it really is that bad, just hope that the elaboration of the theory is correct and you’ll be out of the hole soon enough.

Now tell me, how many did you tick?

My wonderful year 2006

Oops, I almost forgot to do it, to conclude my year 2006. Here’s a recap of the important travels, events and people. Blogging is a wonderful thing, coz I can actually analyze my year. Like, for instance, it seems to me that in 2006 all of the good times and most interesting things were kind of crammed together. Maybe this year I should try and divide the fun more evenly, to at least try to avoid the winter and early spring blues.

January
Bought my own place, barely survived the cold wave.
February
Went to Budapest.
March
Went to Depeche Mode concert.
April
Nothing.
You see what I mean, not much happened in those 2 months. From May on things start happening, and it’s all good almost til the end of the year.
May
Went to Prodigy concert, met the legendary Swedes – Mr. Acorn and Mr. Svenne, started my rollerblading season and broke some bones, saw Buena Vista Social Club in concert.
June
Spent amazing time with R in Spain, met J, had the most amazing Jaanipäev in Hiiumaa, went to Prangli, met another R. N left the country for 3 months.
July
Went to Lithuania, met another R, era of S, spent the best month of the amazing Estonian summer, got a car, went to Berlin to see Robbie Williams show.
August
Went to Simply red concert, got creative.
September
The Swedes left the country, for a while feared that my life would change forever, went to Crete.
October
N came back, had my first TV moment with Boney M.
November
Took part in a movie shoot, went to London, went to Pink concert.
December
Discovered Mika, had my second TV moment, had real great Xmas and NY parties...zzz...

NY party, vol 2

Last week the year was rushing towards its end and I was without any plans. S, A and PM were away. So, me and N joined the rest of the “we-don’t-have-plans-for-the-big-night” crowd. We were A1, G, A2, ML, K1, K2, N and me. (I am speaking code, and the initials don’t really tell you much, sorry:) but I can assure you it’s an amazing crowd). All right then, we’ve got the crowd, check, we’ve got the place (chez A2 and ML), check, A2 and G are taking care of the drinks and food, check…so there’s nothing left to do, but to put on my high heels, grab a chair with me and go. For your information, a chair is the coolest new accessory when going out (at least when you know there’s not enough in your destination location:)

We started off with drinking, while A1 was preparing lasagne, which was our appetizer (delicious). Then we rolled our own sushi. (I know it’s an unusual order of eating, but whatever.) The sushi was really delicious, definitely better than in the sushi places. We played some Alias and with half an eye I could manage to spot me on TV, several times (on the show mentioned in NY vol1 post). For the big moment we went outside and since all of our watches showed a different time, we just did the 9,8,7… counting at some point and welcomed the 2007, I’m pretty sure it was only about a minute before the actual arrival time.

Some of us, including me, went on to another party – to a supposedly very high class, young and fabulous, glam party. I didn’t quite see the glam, though. I mean, what’s glam about having only 2 toilets for such a huge crowd and the drinks running low in the bars. But I guess the party was ok. I was in a bit of a daze the whole night and I have a feeling I said something really stupid to someone I know. Or maybe that happened in my dream. I can’t be sure, for the party went on afterwards, in my dream. I have really vivid dreams, you know. Anyhow, that was NY 2006 vs 2007.

Pic 3

It's arrived, the 2007. More about the NY party a bit later. Stay tuned. Right now i just felt likeposting this pic. Because it's so peaceful.