Wednesday, January 21, 2009

To sum it up...

Every night, before falling asleep, i write a chapter of my book. I do it in my head, though. Can't be bothered getting up and writing it all down. The chapters i write are not the same lenght, they're not even necessarily from the same book, they're just stories and situations that i play through in my head when the memories are still fresh. I cannot comprehend how people can write their autobiographies when they're like 70 years old. How can they remember the situations and feelings they had at some point. Emotions fade. That's the positive side with the mind that we forget the pain and hurt but also the negative side, as the good feelings are toned down over time as well. You might be able to remember the euphoria and over-the-top feelings 2 days later, not 2 weeks, let alone 2 years later. Like, for instance, when something absolutely amazing has happened to you and at first you're able to tell it in smallest detail to some of your friends, by the third and fourth time (if you can still be bothered even telling the story) you are already summarising it. And you cannot convey real emotions by summarising them!

Say you've just met someone amazing and it's been the best night of your entire life, at least that's what it feels like. You're totally euphoric and the emotions are flooding over. If you had to write it down, it'd be sth like this:

"I cannot believe the night i've just had. I felt like i was just flowing, totally walking on air, with someone magically sweeping all the problems and obstacles out of my way. And when i met him/her, it felt like it was the most logical thing ever, just waiting to happen. Like the universe had finally decided to let us meet. The butterflies were running wild, mine colliding with his/hers and no one and nothing else in the world mattered any more."

Say, some years have passed and a lot more has happened in your life and you can now put that situation in perspective with some other events. You can already summarise it. Does it thus belittle that night? Make it somehow less important? Yet, you'd probably describe it a lot differently, sth like this:

"I can vaguely remember that it was a warm autumn night a couple of years ago. That was the night i met him/her. It was probably among, let's say, 10 of the best nights of my life. I knew i liked him/her the moment our eyes met and i guess it was only logical that we ended up together."

And now, back to writing my head-book:) Because writing ABOUT it is all that ends up on screen or paper.

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